' sнarz » emancipated

exams are done!

2011-12-18T20:19:00.002-05:00

Yay!

I am planning on doing some YT vids for a while till I go to the cottage with my friends..

In order to keep my hair FUSS-FREE I am putting my hair in braids!
So I shall show you all those things Next week!

The vids are mostly going to be rambles sooooo......
Yeah.
I am a very happy girl right now sooo.... yeah. Gonna go - had a jam packed work weekend and I am going home now. My salon appointment is @ 8AM! -___-

HAIREXPERIMENT::: Faux Haircut (tutorial)

2011-12-05T15:18:00.001-05:00

Another vid from my new yt channel!

I sort of wanted that "shaped" look, but I never had my hair shaped before and I am not going to the barber to get a full on hair cut...

So I decided to Fake it out, and see the outcome.
Take a look!

Vlogs and updates!

2011-11-30T19:42:00.002-05:00

Hey all!

I think it's time to say, that I shall try my best to keep up with this blog and my vlog.. Though everyone is pretty much on tumblr now, I will maybe embrace both my tumblr blog and this blog together! I am using this blog mostly to organize my boughs since I am going to go back to vlogginggg more seriously again. And unlike my past vlog I will have a more rounded vlog . It is going to be hard to get back on the scene now that there are more people in the bandwagon, but I feel as though if I can bring anything new to the NATURAL HAIR TABLE then I shall try.

My upcoming video will be either an updo tutorial or some type of hair tutorial. I recorded a tutorial last week but then realized my cam died on me... So that was disappointing.

As you may or may not know , my exam period is coming close so I won't be on par with a frequent vlog schedule however I shall try my best to get back up there!

In the meantime, if you're bored and enjoy watching Asian girls ... Check out my friend AREOHESSAY on YouTube ! ^___^ you may enjoy it, you may be frightened, you may even get turned on who knows!?

S'Later!

Hey all! Regimen Updates

2011-11-15T16:39:00.004-05:00

So I am swamped in book work OH MY GOSH! But oh well, I am trying my best here...
I've been doing a lot of retail therapy that I should not be doing... especially since I need a new laptop. But this week is the last week I am going to spend carelessly. Hopefully.

REGIMENS AND ROUTINES

HAIR
Hair style of choice right now is a twist out on damp/almost dry hair.
I spritz it and then use castor oil, and Shea butter to moisten. Then gel to twist and activate some curls. In the morning I take it out using my Universal Styling creme by Aveda. It is really the only way it comes in handy - other than taking out twists, braids and bantus it sucks. So I definitely recommend the Aveda Styling Creme if you want something to take your twists out or your braids out or your bantu knots out.
As for washing... I am still trying to get into being diligent about my hair regimen. However, I am trying to avoid products that work, but leave my hair in bad shape. Such as petroleum.... and calcium building products. I am possibly going to do a Baking Soda or ACV rinse.

As for my FACE...
Cold weather is here and I finally bought the Cleanse Off Oil by M.A.C. It fcking rocks my socks off, and it is so relaxing and makes taking off my makeup not so terribly tiring anymore! I use the double cleansing method. I wrote about tihs a long time ago on my other blog, which is pretty much NOT BEING USED.

The 5 steps are:

1. Double cleansing —> 2. Massage & mask —> 3. Tone —> 4. Essence —> 5. Moisturize.

You can read more about the double cleanse here: http://k-popped.com/2008/04/korean-

beauty-tip-5-step-skin-care/

I have run out of Essence, however this is what I do....

Use the cleanse off oil to get rid of makeup
Cleanse again with a gel cleanser (it doesn't matter, but I prefer gel clensers. I go back and forth from Neutrogena , Nivea and St Ives... which is a cream cleanser and exfoliant)
Mask. (I do this once or twice a week)
Tone my face. I dont own a toner right now, so I am using the OFF YOUR FACE wipes by Soap&Glory
Essence and/or Rosehip oil massage.
Moisturizer. I use St Ives Collagen lotion or OLAY classic moisturizer ..

I may do a video if I am bored, and to illustrate these steps better. This is what I do at night though.

In the day:

Rinse/Wash my face with lukewarm/cold water
Pat dry.
Massage 1-2 drops of rosehip oil onto my face.
Optional: A little moisturizer before makeup routine.

That seems to be all for now. Have a great few days, while I bust my ass trying to get school work done!

BLURBSOFABROKESTUDENT || EP.2

2011-11-10T02:22:00.000-05:00

One last thing.... (HAIR IDOL )

2011-10-31T19:36:00.000-04:00

AFTER SEEING THIS CHICK... I have decided to re-start my journey to actually growing my hair. As in:
Eating healthy
Drinking more water...
Trimming my bloody ends
Locking in moisture.
Taking proper care of what goes in it

I am taking this to a whole NOTHA LEVEL!
Starting next week or this holiday when I am not so extremely busy. lol

Hair update

2011-10-31T13:43:00.004-04:00

old twist-out or braid out .... who knows

old bantu knot-out

lace-front wig

Its been a while since I have re-dyed my hair....

I put my hair back a lot due to lack of time to style it... and I mostly do braid-outs

I had a lacefront for a week but hated it... the wind was too much for me! I used to do bantu-knot outs.... but the time it takes to do it is too much for me lately... so... yeah.

I really need to dust my ends, or do a full on TRIMMING! I haven't trimmed since August! -___-

That is all.

WHAT THE EFF Y'ALL

2011-10-30T13:38:00.002-04:00

Shit.

I never know what my plans are for this blog...
I always go between thinking "im going to delete it" to "I am going to keep writing in it." I honestly have no idea what I am doing with this thing anymore.
I feel as if I can't really talk much about natural hair cause, there are so many bloggers and youtube girls/guys doing it now. It is almost pointless. I guess I can keep representing the Canadians... lol I feel like there are not enough of those.

Canada does not have the same products as America, we are not yet in the group of places that can have access to some of the products. So, until I get my credit card, I will not be able to try out those products.

Anyways....

Just for the sake of things...

As you may or may not know, I am in school - which makes things pretty difficult to do - in terms of blogging and vlogging, which is why I am on Tumblr more often since it is easier and faster to update people - especially from my phone. So yeah...
I went to a pretty lame "halloween party" last night... it was everything I thought a "frat party" would be like. Lame. I only went cause: a) it was my friend's birthday (well she made that the way we were going to celebrate it.. but it wasn't HER party) and b) another friend invited us and he's my boyfriend's best friend and blah blah blah.... he wants to get in the frat ... blah blah - you have probably heard a story like this before anyway.

That is just an update. A brief and fruitless update.

Now I must proceed to writing my essay.... which is due this Thursday... -_-

S'later!

HEY ALL..

2011-10-06T18:18:00.001-04:00

Started school...

but i have time to talk!

check out mah new youtube channel. still going to be talking about hair... just alongside young adulthood and being on a budget...

Good News and Bad News.. again.

2011-07-16T23:07:00.003-04:00

So yeah...

Good news! I am definitely IN university now. Whoop whoop! all I have to do now is pay my tuition and its all good in the hoooooood.

But Bad News...
I got into a little mix-up with my dad and all his crap. Even though I didn't deserve any of what happened to me today cause me... being the oldest child.. have dealt with his crap since the age of 7. So today it all bubbled up and I told him almost all the the crap. Right now I really want nothing to do with any of them. Like... seriously. I just don't care, I want to never need to speak to him again.
However, I need money to pay my tuition I paid the first installment but I need a lot more money with I don't have.

So we'll see what happens. Maybe I can get a job. *crosses fingers*

Foundations.

2011-06-30T21:32:00.000-04:00

Health:

Drink plenty of water.
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
Play more games.
Read more books than you did in 2010.
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
Sleep for 7 hours.
Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
Dream more while you are awake.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
Smile and laugh more.
You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

Call your family often.
Each day give something good to others.
Forgive everyone for everything.
Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
Try to make at least three people smile each day.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

Do the right thing!
Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
The best is yet to come.
Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

NATURAL HAIR DICTIONARY

2011-06-29T16:43:00.002-04:00

A

Accordion Method – This is a technique where you use a squeezing motion to scrunch the product into the tresses of the hair to encourage body and natural waves.

Accordion Technique – scrunching product into the hair as if playing an accordion.

ACV – Apple Cider Vinegar. This is used as a rinse to close hair follicles.

AO – Aubrey Organics

AOHR – Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Conditioner

ALS – Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate or Ammonium Laureth Sulfate. These are lathering agents in shampoo that can contribute to hair damage and hair loss.

APL – Arm Pit Length. This is a way of describing the length of a person’s hair. If a strand of hair can be stretched out to reach an armpit it qualifies as APL.

B

BAA – Big Ass Afro or Bad Ass Afro

Baggy Job or Baggying – This is a method of soaking the hair with moisturizer and then sealing it in a plastic bag, shower cap, Saran wrap or even a simple plastic shopping bag for several hours; ideally the head and all hair should be covered all night. Baggying can also be applied to just the ends of the hair.

BC – Big Chop. It means cutting off all the relaxed hair; regardless of the amount of new growth.

BNC – Braid–n–Curl. The hair is braided to get a pleasant kink in it and then the ends are set with rollers or rods to add a curl. Often this is done on the hair wet and then unbraided in the morning.

Breakage – This is when the hair breaks–off without being completely intact. The white bulb which should accompany the hair is not present. This is often times caused by hair that is dry and brittle or roughly handled.

Braid Out – Braids that have been left on overnight or a few days that are gently unbraided so as to not disturb the natural kinky nature of the hair. The result is a crimped looking hairstyle.

BSL – is Bra Strap Length hair. BSL hair reaches the bra strap in the back when the strands are pulled straight down.

BSS – Beauty Supply Shop or Beauty Supply Store. This is an offline or online place where styling products and tools can be bought.

C

Carrier Oil – These are also known as base oils. They are used to dilute pure essential oils (like rosemary) that if used on their own might irritate or burn the scalp or skin. Common carrier oils are olive, grape seed and Vitamin E oil. The oil can be a mix or it can be a single vegetable oil.

CBL – Collar Bone Length Hair. This describes hair strands that when stretched touch your collar bone.

CLH – Classic Length Hair. This is a desirable length that is achieved once the hair, when stretched reaches the point where your thighs meet your buttocks.

Cones – These are products that contain silicone that help smooth, protect and shine the hair. However they also can weaken the hair shaft. Sulfates are needed to remove cones from the hair strand as they ask as a barrier to block moisture out.

Co–Wash – This is the act of washing your hair with conditioner only so that it is not stripped of its natural oils. It is often done on dry, damaged hair. This method can be used daily and is often referred to as conditioner wash.

CW – Conditioner Wash. This means skipping the shampoo and washing with conditioner. Also referred to as co-wash.

CWC – Conditioner, Wash, Conditioner. Hair is pretreated with conditioner before shampooing so it loses less moisture. It is then conditioned again after washing.

Cornrows – The hair is intertwined closely to the scalp using braiding techniques that may involve three or more sections of hair.

Cottony Hair – This frizzy hair type has a dull sheen. When tied taut in braids it can develop a glossy shine. An identifying characteristic of this type of hair is that it may take several soakings to get it completely wet because it absorbs water rapidly.

CON – Creme of Nature.

CG – Curly Girl. This describes Lorraine Massey’s regimen of avoiding cone laden shampoo and only using conditioner to wash your hair.

Curliness Classifications

Straight – stick straight (1a), straight with a light wave (1b) and straight with visible S–shaped waves (1c)
Wavy – loose and long S–shaped waves (2a), shorter more distinct S–shaped waves (2b) and distinct S waves with occasional spirals (2c)
Big Curly – large and loose spiral curls (3a), bouncing ringlets (3b) and wrapped corkscrews (3c)
Small Curly – coils of S–shaped curls (4a), bending Z–patterns (4b)
D

DC – Deep Conditioning. Hair is saturated with oil or conditioners, place plastic cap on to cover hair and then put on heated cap so that it becomes to penetrate deep within the hair strands.

Depilatory – Hair remover products and relaxers commonly contain sodium and calcium hydroxide. These chemicals dissolve the protein in the hair strand and then allow the hair to be easily wiped away off the skin and scalp by chemical destroying the hair.

Demarcation Line – This is the place on the hair where natural hair growth and hair that has been relaxed meets. Breakage of hair strands is very likely at this line so be gentle when handling the two textures.

Dew Point – This is the temperature of the air at which water condenses and droplets form. It applies to hair styling when you are incorporating humectants into the tresses. The closer the temperature is to the dew point, the more moisture that will be in the air and the more effective humectants like glycerin will be.

Dusting – This is a hair trim where less than ¼ inch will be cut off. It is also known as a “light trim.”

E

EL – Ear Length. If a hair strand is stretched out and reaches the bottom of your ear lobe then you are said to have ear length hair.

EO – Essential oil. Essential oils are pressed from plants and added to conditioners and other hair products to keep hair healthy.

EVCO – Extra Virgin Coconut Oil.

F

Frizz – This is a hair state caused by dehydrated hair strands. Be sure to drink plenty of water. Frizz products don’t correct the issue; they are designed to mask the problem, most often with silicone.

G

Going Natural – This is a common term for letting your relaxed hair grow out so you can enjoy its natural texture. It implies that you will no longer be using a relaxer on your hair. This is a journey/process that can last from a day to several years.

H

Henna – This is a natural hair dye made from green plant leaves that imparts shades of red into the hair strands. The shade of red that imparts into your hair depends on your hair color. A paste is created from the henna powder which can be further enhanced with tea, lemon juice and other natural liquids. Sometimes the coloring agent of indigo is added to make hair darker.

Hair Analysis – This is an assessment procedure that involves evaluating the hair through examining the hair’s texture, elasticity, density, growth patterns and porousness.

Hair Cuticle – These are hair cells on the hair strand that overlap and protect the inner layers of the hair known as the cortex and the medulla.

Hair Density – This is the number of hairs growing on the scalp per square inch. Density is qualified as thin (low), medium or thick (high).

Hair Elasticity – This is the ability of the hair to be pulled or stretched out and returns to its regular shape without breaking or snapping.

Hair Porosity – This describes the ability of the hair to soak up moisture. The more porous a strand is, the more quickly water will be absorbed into the cuticle.

Hair Sebum – This is a coating of natural oil that protects the hair and makes it shinier. The straighter your hair is the more easily sebum can travel down the hair strand. Spiraling curls make it difficult for the oil to be distributed evenly down the hair strand and all the way down the shaft to the ends.

Hair Characteristics – include (L.O.I.S) L (hair with waves, bends and angles), O (hair with spirals), I (hair with no curl at all) and S (hair with waves and curls)

Hair Strand Size – This is a determination of the thickness of your hair. If your natural hair is as thin as a piece of frayed thread then your hair is fine. If your natural hair is thicker than a frayed thread, your hair can be classified as normal. If your hair resembles yarn, then it qualifies as thick.

Hair Volume Classifications – Hair volume is determined by putting your hair in a ponytail and then measuring its circumference. If it is less than 2 inches then it is thin. If it is between 2–4 inches it is normal and if it is more than 4 inches it is thick.

HHG – Happy Hair Growing

HHJ – Healthy Hair Journey

HE – Herbal Essence

HEHH – Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner. This conditioner and detangler is a successful product for hard to handle wet hair because it provides great slip which is needed during detangling

HG – Holy Grail. These are products that are known to work well for a person to give them the hair they want. These products will differ from person to person.

HTH – Hope This Helps.

Humectants – These are ingredients in hair products that help draw moisture from the air and into the hair shaft. However your hair can become dry if the air is dry as well, so be sure that moisture is in the air.

J

JBCO – Jamaican Black Caster Oil

L

Leave–in Conditioner – This is a conditioning product that you do not have to rinse out of your hair. These types of conditioners contain humectants and help attract moisture back into the hair. This helps create a stronger, more flexible hair strand.

Listen to Your Hair – This is a proactive, introspective and intuitive action that allows you to be in tune with the needs of your hair. Being aware of the characteristics and behaviors of your hair helps you achieve stronger, healthier and manageable hair.

Low Manipulation – This means doing very little on an in frequent basis. Do not brush your natural hair with 100 strokes a day and you definitely do not have to comb your hair every day. The less you manipulate your hair; the less breakage you will have.

M

MBL – Middle Back Length. If a strand of hair can stretch past your bra strap it is called MBL.

Moisturizing – This is the act of retaining moisture (water) in the hair using and oil and/or butter. You can use a water–based or oil–based product as a leave–in conditioner after washing your hair.

MMF – Mizani Moisturefuse. A conditioning hair product.

MN – Miconazole Nitrate. A prescription hair growth product.

MNT – Mane N Tail. This is a well-known moisturizing shampoo. The company also has a line of products that are used on pets and horses.

MT – Mega Tek. A conditioning horse product used to grow and thicken the horse’s hair.

N

Nappy Hair – The word nappy is a pejorative description of African American hair textures. This word is offensive to some women.

Naturalversary (Natural Anniversary) – This is the anniversary of the day that you decided to no longer use relaxers, chemicals or processers on your hair.

Natural Hair – This is hair that has not been texturized, relaxed or been chemically altered in any way. Please note hair dye can in fact relax your curl pattern- dyers beware.

NHC – Natural Hair Community or NaturalHairCommunity.com.

NG – New Growth.

NL – Neck Length hair. When stretched a strand of hair is NL if it reaches your neck.

No poo – This is a slang term for no shampoo. You wash your hair with conditioner instead.

O

ORS – Organic Root Stimulator.

Over lapping – This involves applying relaxer to hair that has already been relaxed instead of relaxing only the new growth.

Over–processed – Leaving the hair relaxer on for too long causing a limp, overextended appearance.

P

PJ – Product Junkie (Junky)! This is someone who splurges on tons of natural hair products in pursuit of that one miracle product that is going to fix their hair!

Plopping – This refers to a technique for drying your hair. You use a t–shirt to dry your hair instead of rubbing a towel on it. This can tremendously reduce your drying time.

Pre poo – This refers to applying oils and/or conditioners to the hair before shampooing. Often times a heat source is used to allow the oils and/or conditioners to penetrate the hair and impart moisture.

Protective Hairstyle – This is a style that requires little manipulation, protects the ends of the hair by keeping them tucked away and allows regular moisturizing. Common protective styles are twists, coils, flat twists and cornrows.

Protein – This natural component is the building block of hair, specifically keratin protein. Protein is added to hair products to help mend, protect, and strengthen hair strands.

Pineappleing – This is a night–time hair styling technique that is used to protect or preserve the hair by gathering the hair loosely in a high pony tail on the top of your head. Sleeping on a satin pillowcase or using a satin cap can greatly improve the effectiveness of this technique.

R

Relaxing Bone Straight – Using a chemical relaxer to “relax” the hair until the natural curl pattern has been completely removed. Keep in mind that relaxers can act as depilatories and relaxing bone straight can haphazardly dissolve the hair. Relaxing bone straight is not recommended.

Relaxing Straight – Straightening the hair to a point, but stopping before the hair becomes bone straight.

S

SAA – Silk Amino Acid

Scab hair – Newly grown hair that is dry, wiry and crinkly. If you recently big chopped and previously had a relaxer, the follicle may have been damaged previously from using the relaxer. Scab hair doesn’t represent the actual texture of your natural hair.

Scalp Burns – These are first and even second degree burns that are the result of using chemicals that are too harsh on the scalp. The result is scarring and damage to the hair follicles and skin. Scarring can be permanent.

Sealing – This is a process of trapping moisture (water) into the hair strands and then sealing it with oils or butters. Oils and butters that are commonly used to seal hair include castor, olive, coconut, safflower, almond oil and shea butter.

S&D – Search and Destroy. A “search and destroy” mission allows you to find split ends, knots and weak spots and then cut them out using hair shears. Only use quality hair shears (scissors) when cutting your hair.

Second Day Hair or 2^nd day hair – This is a hairstyle that lasts more than one day. You can sleep on it and it will still be as presentable as the day before and there will be no need for major restyling.

Slip – This describes the slipperiness of conditioner or detangler. The more slip a product has, the more likely it is to coat the entire strand of hair to assist in detangling the hair.

Silky Hair – This is shiny hair that has a low sheen and wets easily.

SL – Shoulder Length. If strands of hair can be stretched to the shoulder it is SL.

SLS – Sodium Laureth Sulfate or Sodium Lauryl Sulfate

Spongy Hair – This hair has a tight frizzy compacted look with low shine. It must absorb a lot of water before it feels completely wet.

Straight Hair – This is a hair type with no curl pattern. As it hangs straight it is very sleek and shiny, since there is no curl pattern light reflects off of the hair dull looking straight hair is often damaged.

Stretched Fro – This describes an afro that has been extended to its maximum length. This type of afro is achieved by first wearing twists, cornrows and braids and then releasing the hair back to an afro. Overtime the afro will naturally shrink back to its original size.

Stretching – Prolonging the time between relaxers. Instead of relaxing at 6 weeks, relax every 8, 10, 12 weeks.

T

TDH – That Does Help. This is usually in reply to a tip or product that aids in creating great natural hair style.

Texlaxed – This refers to hair that is under-processed purposefully, so the relaxer isn’t left on long enough to make the hair bone-straight. This is used to give your hair some thickness. This is also referred to as relaxurized.

Texturizing – Using products to loosen the curl slightly without straightening the hair.

Thickness of Strand Classifications

Fine – Translucent thin hair strands that are hard to see and as fine as silk
Medium – Hair strands that feel like a cotton thread and that are neither course nor fine feeling
Course – Thick strands of hair that are larger than cotton thread and easy to see and that may make a noise if rasped between the fingers
Thready Hair – This is hair that has a low sheen but shines when the hair is stretched out tautly in a braid. Another identifying characteristic of thready hair is the ability to dry quickly.

TNC – Twist–n–Curl. This is a hair style where the hair is twisted and the ends are curled with rollers.

TTH – Thanks. That Helps.

Transitioning – Is a part of going natural and describes the period of time that has passed since your last relaxer.

TWA – Teeny Weeny Afro. This refers to a relatively compact afro.

Twist Out – A hairdo where you two strand twist the hair, then allow it to dry by either air drying it or sitting under a hair dryer. After the twists have dried, you can take them apart and style. To prevent frizzy hair, wear plastic gloves or latex gloves and rub a light amount of oil on to the finger tips as you separate the twist.

Two Strand Twists – for this style, you take two equal sections of hair and twirl one section around the other until you reach the very end of your hair. This is also referred to as double strand twist.

U

Under–processed – This describes hair that did not straighten totally after chemical processing – kinks, waves and curls are still present. The relaxer may not have penetrated and processed the hair enough.

W

Wash and Go (also WnG or W&G) – This is a carefree style where you wash your hair with conditioner, add gel or cream to style it and then leave it to air dry or use a diffuser.

WRTC – White Rain Tropical Coconut conditioner

(TAKEN FROM: COLORFULKINKS )

So I bought the Aveda stuff...

2011-06-29T11:49:00.003-04:00

So far so good, I just tried a dab on dry hair to see how it works. Its pretty good I guess, but I have to use it on my styling time rather than in my friend's bathroom. Haha.

The smell is pretty good. It smells really .... Organic. Haha. My HD webcam is making ,my videos SHITTY.... so I dont think I will be able to make a video in a long time. I'll try to fix it though. Anyway, the Humectant pomade is like jello, like if you tap the container it vibrates haha! And it comes in small packages, but a little goes a very long way. So we'll see how it works out.

Another thing is Paddle Brushes. Yo' man, fck Denman! Cheap Goodie (or anykind) Paddle Brushes ROCK ASS! However, I feel like Denman is good for styling, but not for De-tangling, it feels like it rips. The Paddle Brush made my in-shower De-tangling process so much faster, I didn't even have to separate the hair! Oh my gosh. Seriously don't believe all you hear about how paddle brushes are for white people or people with straight hair / curly-wavy hair. Paddle brushes are cheap and it works. It gives a little curl definition too. Not as drastic as the Denman... but you can work it out.

As for my trip to Aveda (man this post is ALL OVER THE PLACE) I didn't buy the Curl enhancer because the stylist said I didn't need curl enhancement I need curl definition, which was right, so she advised me to just buy the Universal styling creme and the pomade. In addition to that I was offered a free cup of tea and a free hand massage. WHICH WAS ORGASMIC! Like holy crap... all the troubles of my life passed through my hands and into the air.

Hahaha....seriously though.

So next on my June wishlist is:

Shea Butter
African Black Soap

Yay! ^__^

fLASHBACK

2011-06-29T00:38:00.003-04:00

Hair + Mainstream Media + Guys = Self-Esteem destructor

2011-06-26T00:54:00.005-04:00

(me! @ my boyfriend's house Picture taken during this post, so that's why I look gloomy, lol)

Sometimes guys can be dumb. That goes without saying... but I want to tell you about my experience today (for the ump-teenth time)...

So it took me like 2 days (approximately) to take out the braid extensions! Ughh. When I was done I looked at myself and was a little worried about things because I was used to the braids and how much everyone liked it. But as you know I want to try out those Aveda products and let my hair have some spotlight for a while... so I was just going to deal with it.

Usually, even after I went natural, I had really high self-esteem and confidence in myself. I knew I wasn't the BEST LOOKING GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE, but I was alright with me and I knew I had things a lot of girls would love to have and I took pride in it. But I was also humble about it too. So you know.... I never had a constant need to re-assure myself that I was pretty. Unless I went out with friends, but even then I realized it was because I didn't stress slutty enough to get noticed. Haha.... uhh yeah.

So anyways.
I'm with my boyfriend and he calls me cute and the dreaded "hot" and "sexy" all the time... so I went ahead and asked if he'd still think so if we weren't together and he didn't know me as a person already. Now before I progress any further I WILL say that one of the things I love the most about my boyfriend is his honesty. However, the truth DOES hurt ... so I was just saddened by the truth...

So as you can imagine he said:

JV: No, I would think you were cute. But if you had your hair straightened I would wanna fuck you.

Moi: Hmm. Ok. So that's like me and your Abs..... ... Or lack thereof.

(heheheeeeeee take that bitch. )

---

But yeah he started talking about how he thinks girls with straight hair are "fcuking hot" and shit about :

JV: You don't date the hot girl, you date the cute girl.. cause they're the real girlfriend material"

So yeah... I got pissed off for sure. Cause as much as I love him, I want to ask these questions to make sure I have someone who doesn't need to focus on how "great" I look cause of my hair. I mean, he always says he doesn't care.. but then he talks about some girl's straight hair or some shit...and how "Guys always think straight hair is hot" .. which isn't always true, but whatever.
I don't know. Its just a self-esteem decliner for me. I am peeking on the best times of a persons life... and I am in a serious relationship while all my friends are single... so I want to make sure I am not wasting my time. I don't want to come home one day from NOT PARTYING ( like I couldn't have been doing today! My friends at the moment are at some sick Condo Rooftop Party.. -sigh- ) to find out he has cheated on me with some straight-haired broad because she had long flowing hair that he could sweep around and tug or whatever the fuck guys wanna do with that shit. Fuck man.

UGH!\\JNSFBCNSKIFSJKFKJSBLKVBLSHBVKSHBBVGUWIFHSIHJBCFKJSNWBFI923PUY
2PIRHUDWANCFJSVK\

Fuck man.

I don't know, I guess I am just going through some issues. This is how I am without a job and money I guess. Hhaha.T__T

I dunno. I'm really pissed. I know he loves me regardless, but its just about... my life and how I am wasting my time here on earth. I cried soon afterwards... cause I thuoght of how other guys I were with treated my natural hair as a beautiful thing and never talked about my hair straight or anything. They just really want to see it grow. Haha, like they would really ask me to let it grow. Sometimes I think its cause they're black so they know more about what goes on than a white guy. My ex was happy I stopped perming my hair and altering it. My other guy friend had cornrows so we both related with hair and talked about hair together.

Its not like NATURAL HAIR IS MY LIFE. It's just that...if there is something / someone better for me out there I rather meet them and be on an everlasting conquest than stay with someone who can't fully think even with my fro that I am sexy.

Rant over.

Weird ass dream...

2011-06-22T23:11:00.003-04:00

Had this effing weird ass dream where I was about to take out my braids, and someone was really trying to convince me NOT to do it. Hahah, it was so weird.
But whatever, I am taking out the braids this weekend.

FRO TIIIME!
Retouching my colour but I feel like its not light enough!!! GONNA GO FRICKEN HONEY BROWN IN THIS BIIITCH!

No, not really...
I dunno, the pictures are up there of my preference.

I am not as worried anymore about the damage because all I really need to do is make sure I am totally treating my hair to lock in moisture. Moroccan Oil is really good, I may try it as the treatment.

Im talking bull today though cause Im on my period..
first day.
hellla cramps.

Gonna go now.

HAPPY SUMMER!!

2011-06-21T07:08:00.003-04:00

Hey!
Today is the LONGEST DAY OF THE YEAR!
..... and I have been awoken at 5:20AM -sigh- .

Welp, I hope everyone has some wicked plans for this summer, I'm pretty ssure my summer will be moderately fun for the most part. Going to a cottage for weekend its going to be my first time at Wasaga beach. So.. we'll see whats so great about it. I'll take photos if I can. Also, my evil grandmother from the states is going to staying in Toronto for a WHOLE MONTH. Ugh I wish I had a job to get away from the whole endeavor. Oh well.. you do what you do. I think my dad and sister know I am not too fond of the old lady so they aren't surprised by my sudden absence.

Enough about me and MY ISSUES!
Going to buy that stuff from my summer hair wishlist this weekend! ^_^
If I really like the results I will forget about putting my hair back in braids until September. The results I am looking for are curl definition and weight. I want my hair to have some more hang and less bunched-up-nesss. I also want some more curl definition and I did some searching and found that many naturals with my hair type recommended those Aveda products for 4b/4a hair.

(curl enhancer review)

carmelcurlycutie
Type 4a

Jun 12, 2011

I love love LOVE Be Curly! It's not my only hair product, but anytime I wear my hair in a wash/go style this is my product. My curls are super defined and lovely. I let it air dry and add a little oil. Definitely a product I'll never stray from.

Linsey
Type 4b

Sep 15, 2010

The question is what you looking for? If you like crunchy curls this isn't your product. But if you love smooth curls, you got it!

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04-28-2007, 08:16 AM

Polaris

Join Date: Sep 2006

Posts: 18

Aveda Hair Products (posted in 4B)

I recently just started using Aveda hair products and I'm absolutely in love!

Yes, they are pricey but it's well worth it.

One product that has worked fabulously is their Confixor liquid gel, which is vegan!

I put it on my hair for twist outs and my goodness, I have like perfect mini spirals formed!!! I have tried countless gels and never got this results and there's hardly any crunch but the hold is great.

Has anyone tried Aveda b4 and had success with them????

( naturallycurly.com )

( aveda forum talk with curly 4b girls )

( aveda pomade reviews )

SO I AM UBER EXCITED TO THE MAX!

HAVE A GREAT SUMMER !!
Talk to yalls later

WISHLIST for Summer. (HAIR)

2011-06-14T02:20:00.002-04:00

Aveda becurly curl enhancer
Aveda Brilliant Humectant
Aveda Universal Styling Creme

African Black Soap.

100% Shea Butter.

Natural Hair Teens Blog

2011-06-13T15:55:00.003-04:00

Great for hair inspiration for style savvy teens / young adults who dont want their natural hair getting in the way of their overall appearance. Instead we want to make the hair work with our style instead of against it.

VIST IT! http://naturalhairteens.tumblr.com/

How To| High Bun

2011-06-11T22:56:00.000-04:00

Taking out the braid extensions in a week and want to find some new hair styles for myself.
This is cute, so I thought I'd share it.
:)

now listening to: MellowHype - Fuck The Police (w/Tyler, The Creator) - BlackenedWhite - O...

2011-06-04T20:35:00.000-04:00

Goes pretty hard...

People just irritate me at times...(EXPLICIT LANGUAGE)

2011-06-04T20:20:00.003-04:00

Yes.
That's right...

If you are making an event and irritating bitches to come to youre shit... that shit better be going OFF! Like, rain or shine! Unless someone dies, that shit better be happening. But dont back out and cancel it a few hours before the shit starts! Thats telling me... my time isn't worth shit and you can just cancel it three hours before the start time and nothing going to happen. Fuck you man. Think I'm your groupie!? Hell no. I'm a human being and I'm your "friend" if I'm not your best friend thats cool, but don't fuck with my time.

-sigh-

Okay well. You cancelled. So when a bitch asks you WHY? You better answer dont just act like "whatever its cancelled bitches deal with it." No fuck you bitch! You better give me an answer cause I cut out a piece of my day for you and then you fucked with my shit. So you better have reasons.

So whatever... the rudeness doesn't answer me so I call someone to find out. They cancel because it was damp outside so they dont feel like going anymore. FUCK.... YOU. It's not even raining. I rained last night. So it's damp now!

OH WAIT... I GOT A CALL.

Plans back on.... wtf.

Another workout routine thats less stuff...

2011-05-29T19:41:00.002-04:00

Cause I can be lazy... I like to at least do the basics and since they're mostly easy to do, it gets out of the way.

(taken from http://www.homeexercisecoach.com/home-workout.html)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Compound leg exercise: Squat or Lunge

2. Compound exercise for chest, triceps, and shoulder: Chest Press or Push-up

3. Compound movement for back, biceps, and shoulder: Bent-Over Row

4. Movement for abdominals: Vertical Crunch and Side Crunch for abs, or Bicycles for abs

If it seems inconvenient or downright impossible to get to the gym or devote an hour a day to working out, there’s no need to worry because that’s not necessary to achieve a decent fitness level. No one is too busy to start a 10-30-minute-per-week home workout routine. It's all about priorities! Working out is an investment in your quality of life, both now and in the future. You'll have more energy and get more done when you're in shape. You'll also look and feel younger for many more years that you would if you didn't exercise. Please don’t be a black-and-white thinker and decide that if you can’t be in the gym every day you don’t want to work out at all. If you are wary of committing large chunks of time and money on fitness right now, give this home workout routine a try. Keep reading for instructions on how to perform the exercises and for pictures of the correct form.

For all exercises, perform 10 repetitions (reps for short) to start. When that’s no problem, increase your reps to 12 or 15 at a time. When you’re able to complete 15 reps with correct form, go up in weight or move to the more advanced exercise. As a beginner, each rep should take about 4 seconds: 1-2 seconds to lift and 2-3 to return. That means a 15-rep set should take you approximately 60 seconds to complete. Be sure to time your sets every once in a while to make sure you’re working at the correct pace during your home workout.

.......(READ MORE)

I got some weight gain.... ughh.

2011-05-29T19:36:00.002-04:00

So I am gonna work it off.

Nina Abs Variation:

Crunch x 50

Leg Extension x 50

Bicycle x 50

Side Bend (35 lb. dumbbell) 50R, 50L (I USE WATER BOTTLES...)

:08 Min Arms:

Push Up x 15

Chest Fly (20 lb. dumbbells) x 15

Chest Press (20 lb. dumbbells) x 15

Standing Row (20 lb. dumbbells) x 15R, 15L

Upright Row (20 lb. dumbbells) x 15

Lateral Raise (12.5 lb. dumbbells) x 15

Shoulder Press (20 lb. dumbbells) x 15

Front Raise (12.5 lb. dumbbells) x 15R, 15L

Rear Raise (15 lb. dumbbells) x 15

Bicep Curl (20 lb. dumbbells) x 15

Tricep Kick Back (15 lb. dumbbells) x 15R, 15L

Concentrated Curl (20 lb. dumbbells) x 15R, 15L

Tricep Extension (35 lb. Dumbbell) x 15

Youtube 8 minute Arms, if you're interested.

I also workout my bum too with leg lifts and squats 10reps 2 sets before bed and in the morning.

Good News and Bad News.. again.

2011-05-22T21:54:00.005-04:00

University is already tensing me and I am not even there yet!
Anyways... so far I have gotten ALL my replies from Ryerson Uni. 1 No, 1 Yes and 1 Wait Listed.

Ugh!

Well at least I got in. There's that. And I was wait listed for Journalism and declined from Radio and Television due to competition. Meh, this is obviously what I get for slacking off to that max throughout senior year. Right? Yeah... that needs to definitely stop to some degree.If not completely. Well, I just need to get this "victory lap" over and done with and move the fuck on. I am so done with High School right now, it's not even a joke. Happy it is almost over, and extremely happy I only had to upgrade one course and not everything.. or even worse go another year for my diploma. Jebus Christ!

Now I am just trying to ride out a migraine and drinking liquid in order to attempt to cancel out the feeling of getting a cold. Stayed out last night with some old classmates, who are best friends with my boyfriend. I had a good time... first time I have had fun like that with those group of people. I mean, I have hung out with them before but not like, having endless fun like that. I was surprised. Pleasantly surprised.

I guess sometimes you just have to give new people a chance. Even though those guys weren't exactly new to me... they were sort of new. I guess I have been a bit hostile toward getting open with people who don't know me well enough, and the lesson I learned yesterday was... just let things happen. Especially if people are just genuinely trying to have a good time with you, just let it happen. Yes you can be cautious and whatnot. However... just be prepared for the worst at all times.

Never be caught completely off guard.

(Nowplaying: Drams Money Can Buy, by Drake)

Another HAIR POST : Braid Extensions

2011-05-20T00:03:00.002-04:00

So..... I love my hair, but I really need to was my scalp cause it's getting a bit hectic in there and I need some cleaning. y hair isn't the EPITOME of dirty... but it is still a little bit ridiculous. So I searched up some ways to keep my hair style looking "FRESH TAH DEATH" without making my hair get raunchy.

Here we go!

~~~~~

First and foremost..

I have put braid extensions in my hair in order to grow it out. Many people do this however are not sure how long to leave the hairstyle in before redoing it. So I would recommend (upon the research I have done) that keeping it in for 2 months at a time is best for hair growth. So every two months your braids! :)

If I had known earlier I would've done this.. but because I didn't I will start it out now: Shampooing your scalp daily is said to be good for growing your hair while in extensions. But if you don't want your braids to get jacked up then go ahead and massasge the shampoo into your scalp and sponge wash your braids.

HOW TO SPONGE WASH (growafrohairlong.com)

Use a mild shampoo and squeeze your twists to shampoo with diluted shampoo. See description below

Pour streams of diluted shampoo and warm water from a large cup over your braid extensions twists, or braids. Squeeze with a sponge to shampoo and rinse. Towels squeeze; after your hair has stopped dripping, add your liquid hair strengthener and your braids spray all over your hair. Only add the strengthener and braid spray to the scalp each time you shampoo. You can add these 2 products daily to your actual braids or you can simply add the braid spray whenever needed. To saturate your braids thoroughly, use a sponge full of liquid hair strengthener and/or braid spray over a bowl. Squeeze the sponge throughout your braids.

NOTE: Your braids will stay in the best condition if you shampoo this way and add these 2 products when needed for braid nourishment. When you take out your braid extensions, your hair will be in very good condition instead of dry and weak.

If your still worried about the braids' condition then do this weekly instead of daily.

Also the best type of hair to do this with is 100% KANEKOLON hair extensions.

Showin off mah braiiids! JIGGA!

2011-05-11T20:12:00.000-04:00

Just showing you all the turn out...

JIGGAAA!!

Have a great day!

S'later!

Springtime Regimen..

2011-05-09T19:07:00.003-04:00

Alright, so since it's spring I am going to try and RE-ENERGIZE MYSELF.

Cause winter REALLY brings out the LAZY BITCH in me, so I need to make sure that I can get myself back to normal for the warm weather. So in order to not have to worry about my hair everyday, I have put them in braid extensions, like I wanted to. Also.. I am going to try and give myself better me-time. Time to take care of myself and my surroundings. Also, in case you'd like to do so too.. here is what I am going to do for Spring/Summer 2011.

Shopping List:

Ginseng.

Dried fruit and nuts

Peanut Butter

Avacado

Craisins (or just dried fruit...)

Fruit smoothies (that I usually make at home anyway.)

How I will prepare my ginseng is basically, I am going to just slice up some ginseng and drop the slices in my re-usable water bottle and drink it with water and a slice of lemon.

I may try the infamous MEDITATION, but every time I meditate.... I fall asleep. So.... yeah.

I tend to let the little things that shouldn't matter bother me. I really went OFF THE WALL last weekend and did something I should not have done, and ended up arguing with a rude man on the street downtown. Very. Very. Very bad day. He was out of line though...

So anyways, I figured that meditation would maybe help me with relaxing a bit, since it reduces stress levels and anxiety.

A Basic Guide to Meditation:

Sit with a straight back. Don’t try to meditate lying down because you are likely to fall asleep(Haha, like me!). Meditation brings relaxation and peace but at the same time this is a dynamic peace. Meditation is quite different than the relaxation of sleep. When we really meditate, we are fully alert and conscious. Our sense of awareness is heightened. Afterwards you’ll have a positive feeling for the world and a renewed sense of dynamism.

Don’t eat before meditating. After a heavy meal your body will be lethargic with digestion.

It is not necessary to mediate in the lotus posture. It is fine to meditate in a chair, as long as the back is straight.

It is helpful to take a shower before meditating.

Burning incense and having a candle are not necessary, but they can add a little extra inspiration.

It is good to meditate early in the morning. It is said the best time is 3am, although, I feel it is more important to be awake and not sleepy, try 6.30am.

Anyways....

Note that you shoouldnt use too much ginseng cause it can cause health problems and make sure to stay focused on ONE thing when you first start out meditating.

(meditation info from: http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/4-reasons-you-should-meditate-and-how-to-get-started/)

Another transition into Adult life.

2011-05-02T20:54:00.002-04:00

So I've had this blog for a while, and though this chapter of my life seems to be less about hair and more about my internal life turmoils.... I'm still going to write whatever the hell I want cause this is MY space. Hahahaaaaaa! >:]

Anyways, so I voted today for the first time ever! It was Canada's Federal Election Day today and I voted. Just turned 18, and wanted to vote in order to try and change things in my nation. Did I vote for what my parents voted for? No, because I didn't agree with them, I even tried to change their mind a little bit.. haha, but no I did not let their views shape my own. I know what I want from my gov't, and so I went to try and obtain it.

I was nervous, and folded my ballot wrong. They understood though and said thank you for taking part in it, they knew I was new.

So... any Canadians watching I hope you voted today, it's really important to take part in you democracy... cause one day it may be taken away from you.. then you'd have no choice at all.

If you didn't vote... well, let's hope you take what I said and apply it to your future.

Feeling Hair Bored??

2011-04-24T23:10:00.003-04:00

Cause I am..

I am a person that changes her hair quite often, and since going natural.... I have not done much new stuff with my hair.

So here are some photos to remind you (and myself) that theres stuff I can do...

(photos taken from: lecoil and fuckyeahnaturalhair @tumblr)

Keeping Hair Out Of My Face.

2011-04-18T22:58:00.002-04:00

(photo from: lecoil.tumblr.com)

I have been attempting to touch my hair less and less as the months pass, mostly because I am pretty fed up with dealing with it, however I shall not perm it... too much money. Haha!

Anyway... I am going to try and learn out to do things on my own, and for the time being I am keeping my hair in twists and applying essential oils and water to it. Almost like a plant. haha!

Later!

Hello, how you be doin?

2011-04-16T15:54:00.003-04:00

Okay...

So I've finally become a bit more consistent in my daily endeavors. I am officially out of the rut completely and I have 9 more weeks of this annoyance left and I have to make these 9 weeks count in order to get what I want out of my life! Haha.. no pressure man.

As for m hair, I need to retouch my roots cause there is like a halo of black around my head and the light honey brown is receding. So this week, with the extra money I got from my step-mother I shall buy:

Ginseng
A new Denman brush (because the one I had I gave it to my friend... cause I felt there was no use for it.. but I was wrong. Denman actually really works wonders with detangling, life is so much more difficult without it.)
Hair Dye
Avocado Oil
Shea Butter (I am in need of a new tub)

Why? You may ask? (waits for you to ask why............. ASK ME!)

Well beloved reader, because:

Ginseng: One of the MOST effective anti-aging supplements (you start aging at 18!! >_<), it is also very good fr dealing with stress (by reducing stress levels emotionally and physically)
A new DENMAN: Because it's awesome, duh!
Hair Dye: For my roots
Avocado oil: Since spring is here and the sun will soon beat down on me (hopefully sooner than later - fingers crossed- ) it is a good natural UV repellent . Also it is a good hair and skin moisturizer , promotes faster healing and better skin quality. I want it!
Shea Butter: we already know why this stuff rocks, and I need a new tub.

Well that is my brief update on stuff and I'll chime in again another time!

Later!

Erykah Badu - Didn't Cha Know (Biscope Dubstep)

2011-04-11T16:26:00.001-04:00

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!! Im addicted to this.

NEW YOUTUBE VIDS

2011-04-02T13:41:00.002-04:00

I got a webcamera that's good quality.

So I decided to back into vlogging.

ENJOY... this is probably the best way to see me discuss hair

Hmm

2011-04-02T13:39:00.000-04:00

Anonymous: Hey I know this is random but.. I have a problem..
I've been feeling hopeless lately and havent gone to school in a month and a few weeks. I think its because I never enjoy being away and then come to this new school where i know no one... and be stared at with criticizing eyes. You seem like a good person to talk to.. and I was wondering if you had any advice other than "Just go to school." Cause Ive told myself that... and it doesnt work

I don’t think your not going to school is the problem right now. Although not going to school is a problem, the bigger problem seems to be that you’re feeling hopeless. So telling yourself to go to school didn’t work because that’s not the direct solution.

Why are you feeling hopeless? Is it because you know no one and you feel like you’re being critiqued in this unfamiliar environment? If that is the case then I guess what you should be telling yourself is what you love about you. I know it must suck going to a new school, being away from people you are comfortable with and feeling as though you are not fluidly merging with this new community. But you’ve got to realize, even if people are talking they aren’t worth your time. People who are willing to judge you without knowing who you are lost. They, too, are on their own journey trying to figure out themselves and rather than looking internally and solving their own issues and fixing their own flaws, they’d rather point out others’.

You do need to go to school, but you need to go there with this different mind state. You need to be happy being alone (for now). Because when people see you’re happy with yourself they’ll want you to be happy with them, they’ll be curious how you conquered such a feat.

Life’s hard. If life were a person, it’d probably be the most inconsiderate but also pleasantly surprising being to grace this earth. You’ve got to be strong, go to school, and hold your nose up to those people criticizing you. They’re really not worth your time.

I really can’t answer this question fully, because like I said, the bigger issue is why you’re feeling hopeless and issues of self image and esteem. In short, however, I’d say stay strong, roll with the punches, throw your middle finger in the air, and say “fuck ‘em!”

Hair!

2011-03-30T02:40:00.003-04:00

I dyed it!

I dyed it "medium honey brown" with Loreal Feria... it doesn't look bad at all.

However...

It really DOES dry up your hair to the max. If any natural head wants to dye there hair with these kind of harsh chems, I suggest you prepare your self for many protein treatments and deep conditionings. Cause it is really not a joke.

Your hair feels STRIPPED. And on top of that, I left it in WAYYY too long, so it did EVEN more damage.

I suggest:

Aussie Moist.

Ion Protein Treat.

Any deep conditioner.

Frequent co-washes

Frequent leave-in.

Frequent silk scarfs for bed.

Good News, and Bad News...

2011-03-30T01:14:00.002-04:00

Welp...

Once again.. I've prolonged my rut. I guess I just have an issue with staying consistent, but point of all this is... I'm going to try anew again tomorrow! I've been going job hunting. Trying to gain courage and confidence an just barging in and applying. I have the POWER!

Yeah..

So other than that. I'm going to try because I actually DO have a goal to thrive for now. I've gotten an offer of admission from the university I really want to go to. Too bad it's not for the program that I was hoping for... ah well. Fck it, really. As long as I'm not in High School anymore...ugh never wanna go back.... ever ever again.

Anyway.

I guess this time I am for serious! I am seriously doing this because at first I was very depressed, and thought I wasn't going anywhere. But now that I see doors opening, I feel a little better and more motivated.

thats all.

All I have to say is..

2011-03-20T18:13:00.000-04:00

I never want to see alcohol again...

Have a great day.

Its your BRAINS that I want.... bro.

2011-03-12T03:06:00.003-05:00

Hey!

It's 3:06AfuckingM and for some reason I am not tired.

So I decided, why don't I drop a line on this here blog of mine? Yeah. So it's march break again here ... What did I do last March Break? I guess I'd have to scroll back to march 09 or 10 to see, but I'm too lazy. I think the best times for me to blog is when I am on the road. When I am out, I think of the most interesting things and see the weirdest shit, but then I get home and forget all about it. I don't want to really speak on the earthquake/tsunami in JPN.. cause I have heard so much about it today that I want a break...

But what I WILL SAY is that it has nothing to do with 2012. It was a plate shift that was strong enough to cause a tsunami and thats it. No "END OF THE WORLD" shit. This was a very natural disaster, as natural as it gets. This is something that happened in order to create the earths state today and where the continents are as we sit. Nothing cruel and unusual about it. So I am definitely sick and tired of that being said. Like come on:

I do not have to pray for destruction to cease, because who are we as humans to think we have any signification over every other aspect of the earth to even beg "whoever" to spare us?

I mean... we're here just like everything else is.

If we die, a lot of other things are going to die too.

Just like if trees die everywhere, we'll find it almost impossible to breathe, its a GOTDAMN circle.

Honestly, people need to relax. Whatever happens will happen, and there's nothing you and your hands, wit, or knowledge can do about it. Whether it's the earth blowing up somehow or an activation of a doomsday device, nothing is going to stop it. Or maybe something will, but you can't do shit. Especially if you don't got money/power/royalty.

Sorry... but thats fucking it.

So everyone basically needs to just suck up, gear up and/or shut the fuck up. Sounds like I am being a downer... but seriously you cannot actually think you got anything that could stop anyone or anything.

Love you! :)

Life = A Commodity...

2011-02-28T03:00:00.003-05:00

Hey what is up peoples!? Its been a while, and once again my insomnia has drawn be to this blog so I can type myself to bed...

A lot of new things have happened... and a lot of slacking off has happened too. It was not even procrastinating it was definitely just PURE LAZY-NESS. Seriously I was just cooped up in my room for the past few days watching Korean Dramas and regretting things and thinking about everything and nothing simultaneously. I was feeling as though my life was a huge waste of time and I wish I could start a few moments all over. I mean - it is either Fate or Stupidity, and i cannot tell which one is which right now. It took me a while to just sit back and think about what exactly is best for me, and only me. I had to completely quit thinking about others and think for myself. I thought and thought and came to the bitter realization that - though I really think I am better off out of my grandmother's house and into the world, and I probably would be - times are hard enough as it is and it may be best to just stay....

So I moved back into the hell. Well, at least thins place doesn't have cockroaches.

From here on out, I really do have to work extremely hard, or my grandmother just might beat the living daylights out of me... verbally.

Moral of today is that Life is a commodity. Life is a quantity of goods, the goods are opportunities which are yours to either take or leave. Life is something of value, to take advantage of not to be taken away. Life is something to benefit from no matter what.

Have a great Monday.

(now listening to: The Party by St. Vincent)

Around this time..

2011-02-09T13:10:00.002-05:00

I know I would be hating on Valentines Day because back then I was single and felt all "boo-hoo" cause I was like "I have no bloody Valentine"! However, now that I am in a relationship and whatnot.... I realize I still don't give any shits for valentines day. I STILL dont care for valentines day because

(a) In Real relationships valentines day isn't a big deal

and

(b) if you REALLY loved her/him it would feel like any other day to him/her. You dont need to wait till v-day to show them. Just saying. (not saying you should treat it like NOTHING... just saying its not a marriage proposal. Its valentines.)

You know what I am saying?

I mean, my boyfriend and I have both agreed that, even though we really want to do something-and we are going to do something - we just want to go out and have a good time together. Not to PROVE to each other how much we love each other with an elaborate dinner and gifts, we just want to go out and eat and have fun together and just go out on a date ... simple. I feel like, we love each other and have a great time together enough to know that valentines day is just going to feel like another day between us.

Just another day.. except we are going out and eating dinner and going out on a date.

Goals are being motioned toward!

2011-02-04T13:00:00.002-05:00

Alright...

So I am still he biggest procrastinator I ever was when I first started this blog like... 3 or 2 years ago? Wow... has it really been that LONG. I obviously don't feel it cause of my LONG hiatus, but oh well... this blog has been pretty established for a long time now - and through that time I have been A HUGE PROCRASTINATOR.

HOWEVER...

I have finally bought MULTI-VITAMINS and they are gummy ones, so they're easy to take. :)

Aside from that I have yet to regulate my Iron intake and to just push my stupid issues aside and just work to what I am capable of doing right now.... honestly, I have come to the realization that YEAH I actually DO whine a lot. I complain a little much.. I think I've gotten used to having issues and thus I make everything an issue. I don't know if it is actually as serious as it sounds... but I basically feel that this is my problem right now.

So seeing as I have made the motions toward my Multi-vitamin & Iron pills goals, which I procrastinated on for like... months - I am sure I can do the rest of my goals.

Sorry I'm Back...right?

2011-02-02T14:52:00.002-05:00

So,

Once again I find it extremely hilarious that people think I DON'T SEE. I do my research before I say what I say, I make sure I keep up to par with my shit and I make sure I keep my stuff authentic to myself. Yeah... sure it's good for everyone to try and get their shine and take the first opportunity that comes across them... but honestly there is definitely a way to it. If I am up here saying I made a new fruit called... oh I don't know "Kiwapplemon" and them I have a bloody Farm to grow all my "Kiwapplemons" and then I grow sick and stop working on my farm....

You're really going to hop in my backyard at 3AM and steal my seeds and plants to go make your own "Kiwapplemons" and act like its yours?

I mean... this isn't a Kim vs. Nicki Minaj thing...

This is CERTIFIED "SwagJackery". Honestly.... it's so funny cause unlike Minaj, at least she did it up and rocked it and hit platinum - this "Kiwapplemon" thief didn't even spice it or slick it up... you know? But how am I suppoed to feel?

Angry?

Bitter?

Cheated?

Nope... I mean I did at first, but then I got flattered like "Wow, I was so good that I made you wanna BE ME!?". I never thought something like this would happen to me, someone would PLAGIARIZE me. Frankly coming from someone who is going into the writing biz, this is like a compliment but it's also upsetting.

All I am saying is....

I have matured a lot more if you haven't noticed this blog has gotten a little less..... well, what it was before. As much as I would love be up here swearing and complaining and saying funny ish, I also want to get serious a little more too. Because of this, Bitches are LUCKY I am a much calmer person.

This is like my RECOVERY(Eminem's newest cd) CD in a Blog version I guess.

Sn-sn-sn-SNOW DAY

2011-02-02T08:42:00.002-05:00

So Toronto's all snowed in and every student has no classes. Whoo!

So I have ANOTHER day off... I am actually a little bummmed cause I had a lot of stuff to do today and thought it would be a fun school day. Oh well. That's life for you..

Hope everyone else has a great Wednesday, or anyone in Toronto - have a great SNOWDAY!

S'later!

Old Treasures: Humility is SO 2008 (posted June 09)

2011-01-30T04:28:00.001-05:00

"If you're good at something, why be modest about it. I mean if I'm good at sports, then whats the point of being like 'good game guys yeah... good effort'. NO I'm gonna be like 'YOU LOST'!!"

Says Kiefer, a student in my religion class.

I'm in religion right now. Trying to type and not get caught.

I don't want to type and have people passing by my computer either, and be watching my shiz. People keep coming up behind me and gently touching my fro. Fo' realz.

Anyway. I'm here and I'm bored. I have nothing else to do, I'm done doing the assignment I was supposed to do. And I'm reading other blogs today and I stumbled upon some really good posts this morning. One by http://naturalhairrules.blogspot.com

" Excuse Me, Has my natural offended you, has it questioned your authenticity? Has this beautiful crown caused you to bow to its glory?

No?! Then why do you feel the need to explain yourself; make excuse as to why you too are not natural.

This journey is a test of the triune being that brings a higher sense of self; exposing all hidden fears.

So I’ll ask again! Has my natural offended you? What God creates is good and His Righteousness prepares a path of favor and prosperity.

If my natural has offended you; I make no apologizes for I have been delivered from other opinions of me. No longer will I accept the paragon of straight-haired beauty.

My natural transcends all definitions of beauty. It has provide me with the to tool to be me, uniquely.

I will no longer be swayed by the fallacies that natural is ugly and unprofessional. I will learn to be the Queen I was created to be; chemical free. Naked and unchanged.

If my natural offends you; take the time to examine self because I was created in His image. "

This kind of got me thinking, about how extremely true that shit all is. Like double-u tee efferz. As soon as you have natural hair, permed people start defending their perms. When you aren't really doing anything by being natural, you are just being you "uniquely" and to the fullest degree of authentic-ness. Which brings me to what Kiefer said this morning in religion class (im at home now, cause I decided to do the rest of this post at home, kept getting interrupted), about not hiding your good qualities, and just embracing them. I mean, when I cut off my perm I acted like the SHIT, I still kinda do. I always find it hard to just be like "Oh thanks" when someone says "i love your hair"

When my hair was permed and people said that i'd say "thank you" but in a really shy way and not sure of how serious they were. However nowadays when people say they like my hair I'm thinking to myself 'DAMN MUHFKN RIGHT you do!...BITCH!' yeah. I still say "Oh Thanks" but with a huge smile on my face. I'm always happy that I can embrace this hair and people still like my style, appearance and so on. I mean, it wouldn't have mattered either way, I still would have been happy. However, now i'm EXTRA happy. Thats all.

So I guess Modesty is out, and being vocally aware of your good traits and qualities are IN. Thanks to people like Kanye West i guess. Haha. I was actually on Erykah Badu's myspace (yeah yeah, thats right) and she even said it herself

"Humility is sooo 2008."

Haha.

My father has been laid off of his job as an electrician. Great. (sarcasm) and there goes me ever relying on him for cash. Life's a real birch right now. I'm still looking for a job though. I really hope I get one. I still haven't applied for McDonalds yet, but I will this Friday for sure. FOR SURE!

I realized that I barely pray anymore. I feel like it won't help, I mean sometimes I do pray, it's just i really don't do as much as I used to when i was a kid. I believed that prayer was the answer to every single little thing. And now, I feel as if it's all just a waste. How do I know that someone is even listening, that is just it... I DONT. Sometimes I think that people put all their faith into a religion, especially when they face hard times, in order for them to retrieve a drive.

I say this because, I find it the oddest that you can be down in the slumps and them all of a sudden believe in an Element of someone's "divinely inspirited" text and become a billionaire.

I can't seem to believe in anything much right now...

I believe there is a Creator type thing. I don't know what exactly it is right now... however, I'm not quite going all out right now and believing in some sacred text. Sorry.

Moving on...

Has this ever happened to you, where someone confesses something to you that really did not need to be confessed? Well that happened to me today. See what happened was, we were cleaning out our lockers today, and I have two lockers. One is mine, and the other I share with a friend. So I'm at mine in the morning and cleaning out the locker, then a classmate of mine from first semester's history class comes to his locker, which is beside me. He's graduating this year, and so we are both at our lockers and cleaning them out. Here's how that went:

Enters Richie into the hallway... 1st period.

Me: Hey Richie! (smiles)

Richie: Hey Sharifa (smiles)

I thought you were gone, since you're locker was lock-less and open...

Oh no, I lost my lock... thats why. But it's my last days of school anyway, and I'm not coming back right? So i just said 'whatever' you know?

Oh.. I see.

(fnishes cleaning out my locker and touches the door)

I'm gonna miss you... -snif,snif-

Yeah, I'm actually really gonna miss you too Sharifa. (he was actually serious)

-SILENCE-

Uhh, I wasn't talking to you Richie...

Oh. (straight face)

(Laughs) But I WILL miss you too Richie.

Oh, well at least we have that established. (smiling awkwardly)

Haha... yeah. Well, see you around Richie

Bye Sharifa.

----

Can you say awkward. I mean, maybe it was just me. However I always had a little feeling that he liiked me, all throughout out history he'd be looking at me, well more like starring at me. I also remember one time, I needed a fork for my rice and he was willing to go to the Korean place across the street and into a building (with a plaza inside) just to get me one. Which was very sweet.

But yeah, it was weird and I thought about it for the rest of the day, in fact when I saw him in the hallway, I'd stil say "Hi" but it was always weird. I usually thought of Richie as the Older brother type. The nice, sweet, always there for you, older brother. He would always treat me like a sister, I think. Always talking to me and joking with me... I dunno.

Well, whatever.

Tomorrow is the very last WHOLE school day of the year, and then comes Exam week, and THEN SUMMER !!! YESS!!! Too bad this summer isn't looking very promising. Ugh. It looks like SHIT.

Now the school year is coming to an end. Next year i'm going to be in Gr. 12. SHIT!!

S'later!

PCE, LVE, & FRSH AR!!

I think I hate this half...

2011-01-30T03:57:00.002-05:00

I am up at 4AM, just like the good ol' days...

Thinking about how much I hate ... well hate is a harsh word, I think I mean I just have difficulties dealing with things. I mean yeah this is most-likely the best thing that has ever happened to me but, there are still many things about it that I rather not have to deal with.

How could anyone go to bed when they're upset? How could someone go to bed after pissing someone off? Its the act of evil to me! It really annoys me that he's so calm about everything and just goes to bed like everything is coolio... while I am up here not very estatic and-

Hold up...

THIS CAT! He's cute but he is scaring me, cause he keeps letting his claws out and it touches me feet and I am scared of getting scratched again! He wants to sleep on the chair I am currently SITTING on. Sorry kitty, I am using it... bro.

Anyway...

I am too tired to even finish this, I am going to make some tea and go to bed.

POINT IS: An arguement doesn't get resolved if you sleep and basically make the attitude that her shit doesn't matter - especially if you are trying to get her to want to stay and live with you. Just saying.

2011-01-29T15:23:00.002-05:00

More often than not, I find that I work way better under pressure.

It's a good and an awful thing. I mean, sure I get the work all done but then I am stressing my brain to get it all in before my life is turned into rubble. This week I edited and finished all my essays and requirements for my Non-academic requirements package that needs to be in by Tuesday. I was going to send it off today - because unlike many I still do not have a paying job (which seriously gets me aggravated cause I sort kinda NEED one.)- however, the stupid office (like many offices) is not open on weekends! So ... as always my life is always trying to toy with me and get me to loose my mind. Right? Yeah.

So my life sucks for a bit... again. Now I have to WAIT until Monday and loose school time in order to get all this bull DONE!

Can you believe the things I go through?

It's my fault, I know. I should've gotten it all out of the way ! Ok, ok I KNOW! I didn't and now I have to make sure I get all this stuff in or my life is in ruins.

Next problem:

I don't know how to think when I have an idea and it is clearly not the most beneficial one - but it is the one that will make me happy. I mean, sure living with my boyfriend is alright but I feel better living with either myself or with my best friend. I mean , yeah things are easier and the rent is itty bitty, but I really need to be either alone or in my own space. I am just being honest, I love him and yadda yadda yadda however, I cannot really take it much longer. I know he wants the best for me and to spend less money .... but I rather pay 100 or 150$ more for rent than be in here.

And that's saying something.

Besides all that, I cannot stand the roaches and the smell of his older brother who eats McDs every day (or every other day) and either or bother of them always peeing on the seat .... resulting in me sitting in piss by accident almost every couple days. Unless I look it over and wipe it off with Lysol. Which, if I may add, IS VERY ANNOYING. I can't take smells that smell like Ass, Penis cheese or belly flap sweat OK! It's not something I can do... I can do it for a day or so.... but I will never want to live in that mess. I can't tell my boyfriend this, cause I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Another thing I can't tell him, is that even though he spends most of his time playing video games and works 3 times a week - I still need to be away. I want to be free to breathe in my own space. Of course I want him around... but I want my stuff around and the ability to just go to the kitchen and know that almost 100% of what is in the fridge is mine.

Instead of zero - 2%.

I just think moving into my own apartment and being able to bring my friends over ever now and then without having to ask if its okay, being able to walk around in my underpants or whatever.

I mean, it is hard to live your own lifestyle under someone else's roof you know? It isn't just HIS house. His mom and brother live there with him. I don't want to be rude, but I just don't fit in as much as my boyfriend says I do. It just doesn't work.

I haven't gotten to....

2011-01-24T14:45:00.002-05:00

Write poetry in a long while. I haven't needed to vent or express myself in that way. You know? Even my friend told me, she was having a hard time making rhymes to rap to... and I told her:

This talent we have isn't something we can TURN OFF and TURN ON, it's something that needs inspiration or a sudden burst of motivation or artistic push, you know? There's no point in trying to force yourself to TURN ON your writing abilities or painting, drawing and sculpting abilities. You are just going to end up not being impressed with yourself, and even doubting yourself that you can do it.

I have yet to go back to my poetry, painting and DIY clothes....

I just have a hard time now because I am in a space that isn't one for me to easily be able to express myself without interruption. I am looking for a new place to stay, just so I have that and freedom to explore my mind in peace. As for my poetry, I just need time to get motivated.

-sigh-

Welp, love you all....

random info

2011-01-18T18:28:00.002-05:00

Living away from home, I don't do the things I am used to doing all the time and thus I lose a bit of myself in the mess of it all. I have been trying to get back on track though, and though it is still a little difficult - I think I can pull through. starting today.

One of things I have always been accustomed to is Drinking tea. Since I was a kid, drinking tea was a HUGE part of my upbringing and it was no joke - it was the answer for almost EVERYTHING.

Indigestion? Drink some tea.

Cramps? Drink some tea.

Headache? Drink some tea.

Gas? Drink some tea?

Cold? Drink some tea.

Insomnia? Drink some tea?

Butterflies in your stomach? Drink some -

Okay, I think you get my drift.

So basically, I haven't been drinking a lot of tea, and thus I feel as though I have lost my cool and tea, gimmie a break!" I feel as though, its how I grew up. So now I am drinking tea.. and I am a HUGE tea ENTHUSIAST, at least I like to think so. I love trying new teas, not into coffee but I don't mind teas and Lattes.

This new tea Im trying is called Melissa tea - which has many different uses and many different purposes.

USES

In illness

Melissa is antispasmodic, emmenagogic, a stimulant for the nervous system, and a tonic for the cardiac system. It is extremely good for headaches, depression, nervous anxiety, palpitations and insomnia.

Melissa tea

This is slightly sedative (because of the citronellol) and is good for insomnia due to high blood pressure around the time of menstruation or menopause. It is also very good for nervous tension and depression. Put a good 15 ml (a heaped tbsp) of leaves in the teapot, add 600 ml (1 pint) boiling water and infuse for 10 minutes. Drink two to four times a day with a little honey if desired. It is a very pleasurable drink and I have found it very helpful, especially as a tonic in the morning.

(See also anaemia, anorexia nervosa, colic, coughing, cramp, dysmenorrhoea, stings and bites and stress.)

The name melissa derives from the Greek word for bee because the plant is irresistible to bees and has been grown for this purpose for centuries.

(info from http://www.aromatherapybible.com/melissa.php)

Happy Soothing!

inspirations - braids

2011-01-13T15:53:00.003-05:00

(none of these are mine. i dont claim any)

So, yeah...

2011-01-13T15:47:00.003-05:00

It's been a while since I have taken SERIOUS care of my hair. I have reached the "Mid-length" point, and I am uber confused how to style my hair. I mean yeah I do a bantu-knot out and updos, but it isn't the same. I just want to have LOW maintenance you know? So, since I am broke-ish right now I have decided to get some braid extensions in for next month, and I will just do that over and over and over maybe until spring or summertime. It will improve my hair growth - on account of not touching it and keeping my ends covered at all times - and it will be LOW MAINTENANCE, thank GEEBUS!

Im thinking along the line of brandy braids.

Self-reflection...

2011-01-03T19:27:00.001-05:00

I could never do the unimaginable...

The unimaginable are for those with little imagination.

My imagination, since I was young , has always been very vast and full of colour (literally and figuratively). I always had so many plans, so many ideas and so many ways to find a way to execute those ideas. Though it was sometimes hard - and I never claimed that I was a genius or that I was the best at anything in particular - I am always aware that there will be someone who could do something better than me. The difference between myself and others is that I am not very competitive. I do not try my hardest and do my best in order to beat down others, I merely do as well as I possibly can in order to feel happy for myself. When I receive great feedback on work that I did on my own I get extremely excited and ecstatic, not because I have possibly outdone someone's best effort, but because I have done a good job enough to be recognized.

So yeah... I always love some feedback and I always like to hear I've done a good job (when I DID do a good job), but only cause I feel that most times when I'm doing a good job, I can always do better and better and advance myself.

---

Do I really believe I can get accepted into Ryerson University for Radio and Television Broadcasting/ Journalism?

Yes, I believe I could get accepted... I know I have the drive. I definitely have the drive to execute my ideas and share them with those who are interested in making imagination turn into reality... to some extent. I want it. I want a career I love, and I definitely know I will love this. It is the time to take my life into my own hands and just go on with it. Life is always going to be trivial and I know that, however I must overcome obstacles in order to get where I need to be. I need to make myself happy if no one else will. Of course there are people in my life that want my happiness, but I want to make these things happen for myself so that in the future I can look back and say "This, was all thanks to me. I have accomplished this."

Self-reflection over.

A year ago tomorrow....

2010-12-31T14:21:00.003-05:00

A year ago tomorrow at 9am or 10am....

I was on the bus home from a crazy new years night thinking to myself that "2010 is going to be MY year.", and I played Feelin' It by Jay-Z on the way home with a smile on my face. Turns out, the year was alright... it had its ups and downs and it ended up being almost the same as 2009. Besides graduating high school. The few good things that happened to me was possibly moving out of my grandma's and getting a really supportive, talkative, funny, intelligent and handsome boyfriend this year. Though we get into pointless arguments - some which stem from my mood swingy self - we understand each other and work together to achieve our own goals. Teamwork is a pretty big part of our relationship.

So yeah..

He pisses me off but I love him, and thats just how it is. Haha.

As for everything else in 2010....

I let go of a lot of dead weight in my life, I cut some "friends" out of my life and I have been attempting to relieve myself from stress and stressors since then. It felt good to finally get rid of the dead weight, I mean sure I didn't get to o the whole extravagant split that I wish I could have done. It is too late now though, there's no point in giving them my time AGAIN in order to clarify things that really don't need clarifying. I won't waste my time (again) to deliver my oral essay of how I am done and fed up with their bull. You know?

I can still have just as much fun without them - and I have proven that through the many times I went out and they happened to be around, I had a good time - a great time just recently.

My hair grew to my collar bone from being a Teeny Weeny Fro. I'm happy about that.

Sure this New Years doesn't seem too JAM PACKED with anything fun and exciting, but that is mostly because all my friends have boyfriends now and we're serious about our relationships. So we don't feel the need (though I never really felt the need) to go out and dress up and grab numbers.

If anything, I may end up either going to a hotel party.. which sounds fun but may not be fun, and then go look for my boyfriend downtown before 12am.

Happy New Year Everybody!!

I hope everyone is ready for another year of life and opportunities!

I know I am.. I've been ready.

New Years Resolution #3

2010-12-30T19:19:00.002-05:00

NUMBER 3 :

Don't wait for something to happen. If you really want it - WORK FOR IT AND GET IT.

---

I'm not waiting around to workout anymore, I am working out to Jane Fonda's Workout tapes!

Haha, I know it's so 80s/90s but whatever, she more fun and easy to listen to. I like her program.

Shmolidays

2010-12-30T15:56:00.002-05:00

Alexander McQueen Skull Clutch

from studs-and-pearls.com/

My holidays have been quite boing this year... I mean, I haven't done anything exciting really.

I watched some old movies - and by old I mean 89 - 99, haha!

So I decided to blog randomly and see where it leads. I don't even have anything planned for tomorrow, which is a bit of a bummer. Oh well. I guess I'll sit here and tell you about a new blog I love to death:

http://www.studs-and-pearls.com/

I love this blog.

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I am a huge fan of D.I.Y fashion - especially making things that would be extremely over my budget - attainable with a few tricks to make it yourself.

Though... I do wonder if copyright issues would be involved.

Oh well, I love it you should check her out. She made that really sweet skull clutch/purse - inspired by Alexander McQueen's piece. Its lovely!

Sometimes I wonder.. if thats al it takes, then why must it be so expensive, but oh well... what ever gets you by.

Later!

New Years Resolution #2

2010-12-30T15:53:00.001-05:00

NUMBER TWO:

Drink more water.

Not to sound like a B*tch but...

2010-12-22T15:21:00.004-05:00

You choose the course to take...

You normally wouldn't just go into a program without thinking of the costs and benefits. If you are choosing law, you look at the pathways that a degree in Law will take you. Its just that simple, I mean... what did you expect? You expected to be a Two-faced gossiping b*tch and didn't take into account that it may come to bite you in the long-run?

Well, too bad, so sad.

You just lost one.

What's wrong? You and your accomplice mad cause both your boyfriends thought my persona was too intimidating to approach me, so settled for your asses instead? Welp, be glad cause now your somewhat wanted. Dude who took your accomplices virginity always tried to ask me out, however I publicly rejected him over 50 times... all while she was either with him, begging for him back, and trying to get him jealous. So that is probably why she's mad/jealous... and it's understandable.

I'm just saying...

Don't be shocked that I cut you out of my life hombres, cause it was actually a matter of time.

Baow, baow, baow!

2010-12-20T21:27:00.002-05:00

I don't know why I keep repeating that stupid thing from that rapper's song. I forgot his name, but that "Baow" thing is annoyingly addictive to say... especially when I have nothing else to say. Haha!

Anyway!

I am going to try and be more consistent with this blog again, seeing as I have been away for a very long while, I am trying to get back into the groove of things, ya' know? Some things I really want to do with this blog is design it myself. I want to learn how to design it so that it comes out the way I really want it to look, instead of settling for the ready-made template/layouts that Blogspot made.

I have been doing some research on how to accomplish this wish, so maybe I'll have my own layout ready before the month is up - or at least before February.

You guys already know - if you're a new follower you probably don't - that I am pretty into fashion and certain types of things, but the NEWEST addition to my interests has turned into make-up. I know, I know make-up is girly and I didn't turn up on the scene being into the make-up thing... but I somehow got sucked into it. It's like MAGIC!

So lately:

I've been doing some shopping, mostly thrift shopping.

Indulging at make-up escapades.

Doing one new hairstyle - Bantu-knot out.

Living with my boyfriend

Going to school

And the normal daily activities.

Hmm...

Musical interest addition: SOME electronic songs and when I say some, I seriously mean SOME.

But you know, it's all whatever in the moment type of thing. Just trying to survive and get what I need to get done... done.

Welp! Thats all folks!

"Good news is on its way"

2010-12-14T12:21:00.002-05:00

So, it is happening.

I read the fortune letter, that is there EVERY single day on the computer screen, taped on there.
I wanted to just peel it off one day, because it's honestly NOT you fortune, if YOU didn't crack open the cookie, right? However, today .. on a day when I was thinking of taking an early leave to enjoy the warmth of my room and blankets; I get Good News that I am to be interviwed - twice!- by Share newspaper and a place named The Student Commission. Both are good establishments, however - I think I may lean more towards Share Newspaper.

If you're lost, I will fill you in:

I am taking another year of school in order to get some journalistic experience so I can go into my program of study in University (which is Radio&Television Broadcasting or Journalism).

So now...

Share Newspaper is a Black / Carribean Community based newspaper, and though I don't really pay too much attention to ethnic-based orginaizations - because I feel it is a little backwards on the fact that everyone is human and there is no such thing as race- I really need some experience for my portfolio! So, I will have to put my issues and beliefs aside and take on this interview that I have today at 3:30 with this Black Community newspaper.

So, I guess you CAN say Good News came my way.

New Years Resolution - #1

2010-12-13T12:48:00.002-05:00

NUMBER ONE

Somehow find a way to lessen my procrastination... because it will take a while to completely get rid of it. So I have to start small.

2010-12-10T10:53:00.002-05:00

There are certain things that just shouldn't happen to people, and then there are certain things that people regret ever getting into. I feel as though I am going through part B of this predicament. Yeah, so I am back at school in order to review my future plans and get shit together so that I can get what I want ... however it seems liek when you've been through the same thing for a long time - and couldn't wait to get out...- why do it one more time?

Oh well... I honestly can't do anything about it now, I am already in the thick of this mess.

So in times like these, people like to make New Year's resolutions in order to make themselves believe that something is going to change, and hopefully that something is positive towards a regretfull negative.

I am actually in the regretful hell-hole right now, enduring a bunch of crap that frankly I can do without. I mean, it's becoming really difficult to get a internship with anyone and no one wants me, or no one wants a student who isn't in University or who hasn't graduated University - so it is becoming quite an annoyance to even wake-up and go to this stupid hell-hole everyday. There have seriously been days where I was glad to be sick, so I wouldn't need to go to class.

Seriously. I was at the hospital last friday (for what I thought was a bladder infection - it was nothing.) and it was the happiest school day since late September.

It is just THAT SAD.

So, with that all said .... I believe I am now prepared to start thinking about my New Year's Resolutions, don't you think so?

Issues...

2010-11-13T23:07:00.001-05:00

There has been this thing. This thing has been the same since I was a child, and I am 18 now and it's still here.

It seem as though there is a hierarchy of 'black' , I mostly see it with women who claim to be "conscious ". They could have dreadlocks, afros, braids and a bald head and they feel as though they may just be the epitome of AFRICAN-DECENT. In my own experience as an example:

Growing up, my hair was not natural all through my life... my mother had my hair distorted at the age of 4 and it was like that on and off until I turned 16. My cousins, were were natural all of their lives (until, ironically, I WENT NATURAL.... haha!), were always on my case calling me a "white girl", and telling me about the chemical dangers and calling me "slave-minded"... when in actuality.. I knew nothing about those things at such a young age. I was just living with my mother, not having my own choice toward my hair.

Even when I wore a good weave for a while four months ago, naturals who thought it was my real hair, looked down on me, and grunted towards me... as if I was a villain.

I must admit... being natural does send a shrill of freedom and empowerment down inside, however I am not going to scorn those who prefer a different hair lifestyle. I am not going preach like a "know-it-all" and tell people that their lives are "all wrong".

Its just another form of discrimination to me, and the world honestly has no room for that.

Being You can be Being 'Black'...
Being 'Black' shouldn't always have the same factors.
Contrast to that, the other day I was called "the whitest black person" someone has ever met... and I replied "I could never be the whitest black person... because I am not even close to that skin tone...and being african-decent should not omit holding knowledge and articulates. It should just be what it is... african-decent"

We should all support each other... in whatever hair journey people may be riding through.
No one is better than anyone before the law.... and I feel that no one should be better than anyone before nature.

--
Do you feel as if you have witnessed a hierarchy?
A naturals vs. others?
Do you oppose or not?

Setting Goals.

2010-11-13T16:42:00.003-05:00

It takes 21 days to develop a habit...

I want to be able to do the following things in the matter of 21 days straight, until I feel as though I don't have to TRY and do it.. it just comes naturally.

Drink like 2L of water a day.
Go to bed early everyday in order to wake up early every morning.
Eat more fruits and Veggies... now that im not living at home, its harder to do that.
Actually take my Iron pills and start taking multi-vitamins.

I have noticed my skin looking a little down and out, and realized it might just be because of my diet and lack of a sufficient amount of water in my body. Besides that, I have a stinky sleeping pattern and I haven't been taking my much needed Iron pills for my anemia...which is not very good. Haha... ehem.

I am also trying to start a new Hair-care regimen.

I am going to try and learn how to cornrow, so that when winter comes I can make a protective style, without having to go to the stupid hairdresser. I hate hairdressers sometimes. I had to snip a bunch of crisp ends off, due to heat damage, this afternoon. My length is at shoulder or - more like not quite shoulder. You know? I am also going to try buying some castor oil for my hair to seal. However, for now I am using:

Moroccan Oil, Olive Oil S-n-H pudding, coconut oil, and IC Gel.

With these I am shingling my hair, or doing 2 stranded twists and twist-outs in the morning and then wearing it until it gets old, then I redo them.

I am seriously going to try hard to get some length in m hair, cause.. I want to have bra strap length by my 2 yr "nappyversary" . SERIOUS!

Alrighty!

hair post!

2010-11-13T12:29:00.001-05:00

Getting Serious Now...

2010-11-12T11:37:00.002-05:00

Alright,

I am finding it difficult to find time to blog like I used to... ugh.

However, I am here to talk about my HAIR and what has been going on with it- for the pass couple of months.

So, since my latest post in April, my hair went into :

1st: a weave.

2nd: a wig

3rd: extensions

4th: extensions again

5th: a wig... again.

6th: I took out the braids, and then straightened my hair with HEAT (dun, dun, dunnn)

So, i had my hair straight for a week and two days, and got sick of it... and washed my hair.

Now I am rocking my FIRST BANTU-KNOT OUT! Since I was transitioning so ... thats wicked that I can finally achieve that. My hair straight came about shoulder length, it was full and shiny... my friend thought it was a weave....Haha!

I snipped off the HORRIFIC AMOUNT of split ends I had, however the salon lady didn't cut all of them off, so I need to somehow get new hair scissors (since I lost mine.. while moving out of my house), and dust them...

I've been using a new product from the Organic Olive Oil company and it's called Smooth -n-Hold Pudding!

I just tried it two days ago, and it was really satisfying. I couldn't use it in the shingling method way, cause my hair is currently messed up due to heat damage... however it did it's thing, and I got a lot of compliments.

It has mostly natural, if not ALL natural ingredients and once again the first ingredient on the container is WATER.

Some others are coconut oil, mineral oil, glycerin, aloe, olive oil (duh..), and avocado oil. So it seems healthy for your hair.

TRY IT OUT! Its like a gel, without the crispy, flaky, crunch. It leaves firm though..

I'm starting to use Argan Moroccan Oil and IC Aloe Gel.

Still on Shea Butter...and I am loving Coconut oil.

Thats all for now folks!

Well, now.... its been quite a long ass minute.

2010-10-22T18:22:00.002-04:00

Tumblr has stolen me from my initial BLOGGING SITE!!

I feel as if on tumblr I don't blog the way I used to, and instead I just put up a bunch of coolio photos and sometimes I talk, but most times I dont, cause I just... don't feel that connection like I do here!

SO HELLO MY EMANCIPATORS!! If you are still there that is...

I haven't gotten any new followers on here, but I have gotten new replies, which is weird to me. However, thanks a lot people for the replies on my most recent and depressing post!

NOW ITS BACK TO BUSINESS! !!!

-----

Now, I know there are a lot of things I have yet to fill you in on, however I will not go through all of it today, because:

a) Im too tired, and hungry.

b) I'm not really in the mood for it, its a very long story man.

c) I guess, it just comes down to what I feel like doing.

I mean, I know it's been a while and all, but its still MY blog, and I really don't feel like going into certain details on it today. Sorry, not like a lot of you care, but you get it.

Tumblr's cool, its funky, its honestly a bit cooler than blogspot, but I have all my personality on this blog, and I missed it a lot.

As for right now, I am SUPER-HUNGRY so i am going to find something to eat!

Catch you laterrr!

-Sharz

. two-hundred and six

2010-04-02T02:10:00.002-04:00

i cant breathe anymore...

i feel paralyzed.

I cant think anymore

I cant smile anymore

I cant do anymore

I cant pretend...

and thats how i feel at these very moments.

I feel as if my life is going in a downward spiral and I can't escape from it. I feel like my being pulled, dragged, rushed down a tunnel of darkness.

I feel like life has gotten worse and worse with time and stress has built up to the rim of my cup and I am DROWNING in it.

I cant.

I should try...

but i feel like there is no way...

my grandma found my contraceptive..

she thinks im a whore.

no i have the stress of knowing my grandmother thinks im a whore everytime i enter the house...

but i am not.

fuck it though...

im upset at life.

cause it stabbed me.

it said i could be whoever i wanted to be if i reall was determined.

i was determined.

i tried so hard.

i feel like i tried so hard.

i feel like i burned my body trying.

i feel so dissapointed

in myself..

why is my life like this right now ?

i dont want to be left behind

i dont deserve it.

ive worked all m life

Ive been under stress since the age of six.

i never had ONE CHANCE to live an easy lfe...

a stress free envoroment

i have hardships everywhere i go.

and all this time i thought it would get better.

"it has to get better with time.."

now look at me.

failing at the present moment.

but im trying...

to the best my brain can manage right now.

my head is so full of shit.

i cant think!

I CANT THINK THOUGH!!

I dont know what it is...

i want my mommy.

. two-hundred and five -last night

2010-03-28T19:07:00.001-04:00

Okay…

so last night we tried getting into a 19+ club event, cause we apparently had “hook ups”. We were getting in as SOUNDCREW… all 14 of us girls in pretty garments were going in as soundcrew. Right.

But anywhoo…

So we were asked for i.d which we didnt have, we are 17/18 yr olds.

So…

we got kicked out.

Then our friend’s friend said “Theres a lounge” so we walked, in our heels to the lounge…

We get there, and its full of OLD PEOPLE!!

Well, they’re not old, but old enough to be my parents.

So we left that.

And went to jackastors.

That was the night, in a nut shell.

My feet were killing me so halfway home I stopped in a bus shelter to change into my keds.

I fell right asleep, all i did was slip my memory card into the laptop for todays showing of how “AWESOME” of a night I had..

Yay.

-__-

. two-hundred and four - preview

2010-03-27T07:42:00.003-04:00

Preview of my next video!

I saw a video on curlynikki.com of a girl who tried a FAUX-Haircut.

So, I tried my own version, and it came out good i guess.since people liked it.

I did a full-head twistout and then pinned it in my desired way.

I used: Shea Butter for twisting, Castor Oil to seal moisture, Africa's Best Oil when i twisted out my hair.

Then, I just pinned it.

. two-hundred and three

2010-03-26T21:38:00.001-04:00

. two-hundred and two

2010-03-26T01:04:00.001-04:00

Waaaaiiit!

last post…

i think i should say.

it is a friend love…

but a mixture of other shit….

ya know?

——————-

Anyways…..

So…

it is 12:46AM, I should go to bed, but I am too thirsty to sleep. It doesnt matter how much water i drink, my throat is still dry. STILL DRY!! What the fuck meng? So, I am here sitting in my tornado stricken bedroom, typing away at this heft laptop, and trying to forget about my throat.

I had a scary day today..

I felt as if something was wrong in the world, and it was as if I did something wrong. Geese hissing at me, a random jamaican old man in a wheel-chair from across the street was telling me to fuck my mother… or more like “MUUDAAA!” -in a jamaican accent-

But yeah, that was it, but it just felt weird.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

My ex, still loves me. I thought I did too, but I dont. After seeing him last weekend I figured that out.He’s different. I don’t like when people change. It is okay to change, however don’t be someone you’re not. He.. is … not… into… rock music. He’s … apparently… into… white chicks now. Like.. HARD.

He doesn’t talk to black girls, other than me.

He thinks Jessica Simpson is the hottest girl in hollywood. Or at least one of the hottest. While his brother and I think Gabrielle Union is DAMN SEXY…

DAMN!!

She is. Do not ever try to deny it.

My ex boyfriend has become someone I can never really enjoy talking to. He’s too different. I like rock, indie, metal, and shit… But I still have affection for people the same skin tone as me, I don’t discriminate.

We’re just. Different.

Too Different.

I can wholeheartedly say, I no longer love him. I just love the idea of someone loving me, and needing me to survive, and someone feeling as if I AM THE PART OF THEM THAT MAKE THEM WHOLE.

I miss that one part.

The part that makes me feel as if I am more than just another girl. I am their girl. Possibly the love of their life. I am what makes them get up in the morning. I am what makes them keep buying minutes for the phone.

I miss what it was like.

I dont miss him.

I miss the feeling of being united when we kissed.

That’s totally gone…

it just felt like i was kissing him, for the sake of something to do…

I hated it!

There was no heartbeat, and there was no need for more, there was no eye gazing and there was no passion. Not even lust.

Just air.

—-

. two-hundred and one

2010-03-15T09:48:00.003-04:00

OKAY!!

So... I've been distracted and I've been surrounded by issues and negativity.

I AM GOING TO PULL THROUGH AND OUT OF IT!

I was talking to my guy friend last night, and he gave me a full on lecture on life, and pursuing my goals, and being about my "shit". I thought about it and said... "are you still drunk??" haha! But what he was saying WAS the truth.

I need to pursue my goals.

I need to really consider my future.

I need to stop messing around.

I need to get things done.

I need to aim for the highest.

I need to be amplified in terms of living life and being active instead of passive.

The only way to really succeed and feel the success is to be driven to do it. The more driven you are, the more determination you will feel, and when you achieve your goal, you will truly feel it. But the achievement can never come unless you drive your way through and find that determination that you have.

I've been told I procrastinate.

Its true.

I need to stop.

I'm going to stop.

Because through procrastination I will never be driven to finish my goals, until the last minute.

I need to be driven to complete my work and achieve my goals all through the process, not just at the end when everything should have been finished already.

I admire my guy friend, J, and his determination.

This has shown me that I should be able to admire MYSELF and start my OWN determination.

Here are my goals, I'll write them down later...

--------

Work Harder in Data Management: omit the fact that you should have taken calc. and vectors and advanced functions and you should have asked teachers what data management was all about before getting into the course. Oh Well! Suck it the fuck up! This is a learning experience. From now on, you will just have to ask before getting into things. Work hard and get the grades you need.
Do the work: ... stop acting like you have time. YOU DONT. YOU NEVER DO. Always try and get things out of the bloody way. Stop waiting until it all piles up.
DRINK WATER! : Drink a cup of water at least every hour at home. When out, or at home, try to finish your water-bottle every other period. Thats two a school day. Then maybe move it up to one finished every period. Then every half period. ^__^
Healthy Eating! : Okay, the vegetarian thing is not working. But you can still eat as many healthy foods as possible. And you can cut down on meat. And you can eat more of the healthier foods.
Read More Books: What ever happened to getting books? You've cut down on reading for some reason. GET BACK ON IT! Stop being "bored".
Cook: Learn some recipes or create!
Write: keep writing short stories, poems and such. Keep the writing dream alive.
Grow: Your hair, your mental self and spiritual self too. With all these goals.. it shouldn't be too difficult.

I going to pursue my goals.

I going to really consider my future.

I going to stop messing around.

I going to get things done.

I going to aim for the highest.

I going to be amplified in terms of living life and being active instead of passive.

You should get some goals ready too!

I've also been inspired by thinkandgrow chick.

check her out!:

http://www.thinkandgrowchick.com/

. two-hundred !!!!!

2010-03-13T10:40:00.002-05:00

Keep on strolling along..

You can't change the minds of others, and you cannot always effect their mindset.

Thats Life.

Move on.

. one-hundred and ninety-nine

2010-03-12T11:44:00.005-05:00

I can't seem to differentiate what wrong really is anymore...

Cause why is wrong...wrong?
What makes right, right?
Why are they so different from community to community?

I will just do what I think is right for me.
What my own moralities are, has no concern of others right?
Wrong?
Right?
Wrong??

What the fuck?

. one-hundred and ninety-eight --POETRY

2010-03-09T06:56:00.001-05:00

"Puce Fairy Book"

Alice Major

You wanted Rapunzel waiting in a tower
braids of hair like ropes
stairs that only you could climb

my hair would never grow long enough

you wanted a lady sleeping in a garden
no rings on her fingers
never been kissed

other princes had made it though my forest

so you tried revisionist tale-telling
and turned them into dwarves-
you wanted happy ever after

I forgot to water the roses round the door

I piled up mattresses to cushion you
but you tossed and turned
bruised by that one small nub-

the part of me that is no fairy tale

you brought me a crystal slipper
on a heart-shaped pillow
pretty but slightly passe

my foot was too big to fit into it

you might have been the one true prince
but on mature consideration
I declined, with thanks, the honour

of cutting off my toe

"The Story"

Karen Connelly

Eventually each of us
will tell a story
of scars and ocean,
the way you never
know what's in deeper water
while the seaweed shadows
twist below you
and the slow fear
fills your thin arms.

You know you are a fool
for having come this far.
You know you could never
swim fast enough.
In your mouth your heart
dissolves like a holy tablet
of salt.

In the end, it is
only a drifting body
of wood. Or a dolphin.

But what we own
beyond a shadow
of a doubt
is our fear
of being eaten
alive, torn apart
in depths we have entered
willingly.

"And If You Should Leave Me"

Ben Okri

And if you should leave me
I would say that the ghost
Of Cassandra
Has passed through
My eyes
I would say that the stars
In their malice
Merely light up the sky
To stretch my torment
And that the waves crash
On the shores
To bring salt-stings on
My face:
For you re-connect me with
All the lights of the sky
And the salt of the waves
And the myths in the air.
And with your passing
The evening would become too dark
To dream in
And the morning
Too bright.

"This Is A Photography Of Me"

Margaret Atwood

It was taken some time ago.
At first it seems to be
a smeared
print: blurred lines and grey flecks
blended with the paper;
then, as you scan
it, you see in the left-hand corner
a thing that is like a branch: part of a tree
(balsam or spruce) emerging
and, to the right, halfway up
what ought to be a gentle
slope, a small frame house.

In the background there is a lake,
and beyond that, some low hills.

(The photograph was taken
the day after I drowned.

I am in the lake, in the centre
of the picture, just under the surface.

It is difficult to say where
precisely, or to say
how large or small I am:
the effect of the water
on light is a distortion

but if you look long enough,
eventually
you will be able to see me.)

"The Woman I Am In My Dreams"

Maxine Tynes

The woman I am in my dreams
is taller than I am
and sees the world as she walks
unlike me with eyes on every step
with eyes ever and always on the ground
the woman walks only when
she feels like not running
not jogging
the woman I am in my dreams
lifts one leg effortlessly over the other
crosses them
high up on the knee
the hip
the thigh
not just at the ankle like I do.

The woman I am in my dreams
breaks all the rules about shoes
wears them high and red
with killer spike heels
moves from Nikes to spikes
and the kind of pumps
that go with a dress
and having your hair done
the woman I am in my dreams
her legs are straight and sure
they don't fly out from under her
they don't hide under long skirts
her legs and feet are well
they speak for her in footsteps on the road
they laugh at hills and
at rolling, unforgiving gravel
they dialogue with ice and snow
and they always win that argument

The woman I am in my dreams
I wake up and carry part of her
with me everywhere.

"The Six Strings"

Frederico Garcia Lorca

The guitar
makes dreams cry.
The crying of lost
souls
escapes from its round
mouth.
And like the tarantula
it weaves a huge star
to catch sighs
that float on its black
wooden tank.

"Eagle's Work"

Wayne Keon

Eagle strikes her prey
out of the air
with

one screaming blow
of blood nd
talon

swift nd clean nd proud
I torture this page
for hours
til

finally my soul stumbles
out sick of being the
official witness

starts walkin nd talkin nd dancin right out loud

. one-hundred and ninety-seven (DA' LACE)

2010-02-25T21:48:00.004-05:00

I think I look Native....

whatcha think??

hmph..

its synthetic...

and its up to my waist. I want to cut it....

it's weird having straight hair...

FRO to No Fro = BIG DIFFERENCE.

gone to bed.. fuckin tired, and im second-hand high.

LATERS!

. one-hundred and ninety-six (TO LACE OR NOT TO LACE)

2010-02-23T15:11:00.002-05:00

THAT.

IS.

ZEE QUESTION.

Hold up, i have to do something very annoying for my grandmother... I shall be back.

----------------------------------------------------------

Okay!

so anyway...

My graduation photos are coming up, and with my last minutes tardy-ness I JUST decided to ask for what I want my hair to be like for the photo. So I was just going to weave it, but my aunt doesnt know how to weave. So i guess I'm going with lace-front wig.

OH MY GOSH.

I mean, I don't mind it. But I'm scared of it looking like... really lame, and really fake, and really off. Beyonce has had slips, and Wendy Williams has had slips....

So what if I HAVE A SLIP?!

But whatever, I'm sure I know how to fix issues, and I've done my youtube research of how to do it properly and asked around for people's input.

So...

IM FINNA DO THIS ISH!!!

I just need some one to cornrow my hair...

so that I can put it over top...

I Shall post photos when its done.

. one-hundred and ninety-five

2010-02-18T16:33:00.003-05:00

Ughh!

I have a paper-cut...

Anyway, I started night school last night, and I feel a little confident in this writer's craft course. I've been casted as JUDY in my school's musical...

I have also been mega-tired, and mega-hungry and snappy the last few days.

I gave up swearing for 40days.

This was an update and passing through thing.

I'm going to eat my sister's burgers and do some homework.

------

Oh! almost forgot!

New readers get.. uh.. stuffed polar bears!!

. one-hundred and ninety-four (Getting, too comfy)

2010-02-16T23:02:00.003-05:00

Okay..
So whats up people of earth who are reading? How have you been? I've been alright.
Remember when I discussed islands a few weeks back? Well, there seems to be an accidental wash up on a shore that I didn't mean to buck up.

The deal is... there is this "island" we'll say islandJ for the privacy factors. Okay, so I started conversing with islandJ with a mindset that we'd be JUST FRIENDS. You know? Like, we both established that we just wanted to stay friends, we weren't looking for relationships we just wanted to talk. We enjoyed talking. I think we still do.
Somehow, I think islandJ is struggling with keeping his mind on the friend factor. He's been beginning to ask odd questions, and getting jealous for nothing and talking smack about how I'm greedy cause I talk to him, and my exboyfriend...

I don't know how to summarize our hourly conversations, but basically, he's getting... comfortable.

The thing now, is that I secretly wanted this...
HAHA! Messed up? I know.

I don't know...
I was hoping he'd feel a stronger attraction to me, cause I liked him a lot too. But, it's like now that he's smacking me in the face with these random subtle emotions and confessions... I'm not feeling too good anymore.

We talk every night...
We had a slight arguement about me calling him back, cause my ex was on the phone..
I can see his frustration, however: WE ARENT FUCKING DATING. We're just friends, so I didnt think he'd get so upset. He really shocked me with his anger toward the situation. Though he kept saying "Im joking...chill."

I know he wasnt really joking.

Well, whatever...
I think the problem here is lack of straight forward-ness and communication.

. one-hundred and ninety-three

2010-02-14T10:47:00.004-05:00

NEW ERYKAH BADU...

Jump in the Air (stay there) ft. lil wayne.
I like it...
I mean, at first I was like,uhmmm "what the fuck is this?" but after just relaxing and listening I liked it.. it could have used a little more lyrics on EB's part, buuuuut.
Whatever.

What do you think?
ENJOY!

(p.s NEW READERS get virtual HOT WINGS!)

. one-hundred and ninety-two (note to self)

2010-02-06T15:18:00.000-05:00

NOTE.
TO.
SELF.

---
BUILD A TIME MACHINE...

. one-hundred and ninety-one (BACK ON MY...)

2010-01-31T17:28:00.003-05:00

Conduction of words shit.

I'm beginning to blog like, really lamely, where things are only a couple sentences long ad shit. It sucks. I actually hate it, but TOO LAZY TO CHANGE IT UP AT ALL. So whatever. I'm not having many problems however....

Are you supposed to feel yourself going crazy? Or is it something that just pops up? Like, is the fact that I sometimes feel myself going insane, mean I'm actually NOT going insane? I don't know. I'm not worried, I'm not really feeling that crazy at this point in time, I'm feeling awkward.

Awkward because something happened to me. Something that is actually very unusual for me, well not really, but ... WHATEVER OKAY!? Just hear me out on this one...

Okay, so basically, I saw an old "friend"(?) a minute ago (well, not really a minute but you get it..) and ... well, you know when you get a feeling off someone that they like you? Well, I always knew he liked me cause well, a) it was obvious and b) he gets jealous when certain shit goes down. I remember one time when I was at a party and him and his friends were there and I was "hanging" out with his friend(who I ALSO saw a 'minute' ago) and when I saw "hanging out" I mean, things got a little, errm....

OVERBOARD.

I don't know what went on in my mind that night, but for some stupid ass reason it seemed like a good idea...to go overboard that is.

MIND OUTT THE GUTTER FOLKS, Nothing HOT of that kind of nature happened, but it was out of my particular character...

So anyway, to make a long enough story short, he caught a glimpse of me and his friend (and before this party, we were "talking" it up, but stopped, well, he stopped calling me so WHATEVA right?) and got a tinsy winsy bit jealous...

So after that he hit me up on MSN Messenger and was like:

Dude: "Did you have fun last night?"

Me: "LOL, Uhh, yeah it was alright, you?"

Dude: "yeah, but not enough girls were there, it was a sausage fest"

Me: "haha.. true."

Dude: "well, you seemed to be having fun with 'DUDE2' eh?"

Me: "lol, i guess, why were you spying on me?"

Dude: "LOL, I wasn't spying. I was chaperoning " (he said something like that)

Me: "Haha!!" (it was really LOL worthy to me..)

-----

And yeah, so he would always bring up his friend 'DUDE2' up every time we went out as a group of people. Which pissed me off, cause... I was trying to forget about the night all together, cause well, him and my friend were actually 'talking', and I didn't want to be in a triangle.

So yeah.

Then me and DUDE went OVERBOARD one night, and the day after the OVERBOARD event he said something that made me wonder if he was trying to prove something to me, like as if he was trying to be like "Im totally better than DUDE2" or some shit... I don't know. Thats the feeling I got.

So, where was I going with this?

Oh right, the awkward feeling...

I don't know, I guess I don't feel that awkward, I think DUDE2, who I also saw a minute ago, still has the night of OVERBOARDness in the back of his mind, he probably doesn't even care.. but I just act as if it didn't happen. It didn't as far as I'm concerned. I feel a little bad about it.. but whatever. I only feel bad cause I virtually shun the kid every time I see him, every time except for a minute ago. He had me in an awkward position and I tried to get out of it, but couldn't, without looking like a real asshole.

Oh well.

You can't have all that you want right?

Right.

- I wish my camera didn't break, it was HD video.. my sister's is so crap.

P.S: I'm plugging in my twitter..lol

-thumbsup!-

Later!

. one-hundred and ninety

2010-01-30T02:57:00.002-05:00

. one-hundred and eighty-nine

2010-01-29T19:20:00.002-05:00

Apparently, WE (and I had no real say in this, but I'm not complaining... I just found out today) are making a VLOG profile on youtube, named "ARMS"

A-ayss

R-rosa

M-mela

S- sharz

Well, see how that goes and if we ever go through with it...

Besides that I think I'll be uploading a vlog soon.

@Hopdat, Ays, and myself...

being silly.

. one-hundred and eighty-eight

2010-01-26T00:16:00.003-05:00

FRO-LICIOUS

. one-hundred and eighty-seven

2010-01-24T02:26:00.004-05:00

New years.

This, is why i try not to drink... haha. not as bad as last year though... -_-

But anyways.

I'm here trying to finish up my last bit of homework before EXAMS!

UGHH!

I am having difficulties in my life choices right now, and I have somehow picked something and now I am re-thinking it and I want to change it, but I can't. FUCK.

Other than that. Life had been alright.

I hate idiots.

By idiots, I mean people who act dumb for attention.

I hate those.

Like, they are so immature and stupid, and they act as if they're cool, cause for some reason they think that others think they're cool, but in reality.... people are starting to say things that refelct the person's UNCOOL-ness.

Why pretend, when you can just live in the reality? You know?

Just live your life, and be you.. and let the magnet of natural essence be your guide to attaining friendships and your own identity. That's all I'm saying.

s'lates

formspring.me

2010-01-17T19:47:00.001-05:00

Would you rather swim in a pool or the ocean?

ocean....

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-01-17T19:41:00.001-05:00

Im eating, Ask me something... http://formspring.me/SRZ

. one-hundred and eighty-six (UPDATE!!)

2010-01-14T21:23:00.005-05:00

ON MY HAIR!!!

I may do a whole entire length check later, but I'll do it ON MY NAPPIVERSARY, or however it's spelled.

:)

YEAHH!!! I'm actually surprised.
To transitioners: HANG IN THERE YO! I've been relaxa-free for almost a whole year (a yr on april) YOU CAN DO IT! When the going gets rough, cut it all off. lol, thats what I did.

to considerators: STOP THINKIN' BOUT IT AND BE ABOUT IT!
.... HOE! lol.

I hope this inspires some, or gives them a tint of hope.

I've been doing NOT TOO MUCH with my hair, in fact I am still working on my moisture issues and drinking MORE water.... I hope I can finally reach these water goals, the moisture is NO PROBLEMO though.

. one-hundred and eighty-five (I FEEL..)

2010-01-13T16:22:00.002-05:00

MUSICAL!!

Even though my work ethic SUCKS I have OVEDUE HOMEWORK FOR DAYS and I applied to University on the day before the applying deadline... haha! Oh, I FEEL SO GOOD!
I mean, maybe the world will crash before my eyes later, but as of now? I feel FANTASTICO.

LISTENING TO OLDIES!!!
whatcha know bout BILLY STEWART?

NOTHIN'!!

. one-hundred and eighty-four

2010-01-13T00:03:00.001-05:00

LOL THIS. IS. AWESOME!!

I needed to show you!!

The Coil Review 2010 New Year's Web Commercial Vers. 1 from The Coil Review on Vimeo.

. one-hundred and eighty-three

2010-01-08T18:01:00.004-05:00

Some of things I'd like to say to people....

I've done a good job tolerating people's asshole-ness, however i can't keep it bottled up. So, if I could, I would send them notes in their lockers.

You're an ignoramus.

You're too nosy for you're own good.

Get off my back.

Get out of my life please.

Haha.

I'm doing good though, a few slip ups but I'm still proceeding.

2010 SHALL BE MY YEAR!!

Anyway..

I've been diagnosed as Anemic..

I have to take centrum multivitamin now.

it tastes like shit

makes me feel like puking

I havent had it for one day....

and i think i may take on in a minute...

Just updatiing... nothing important.

NEW READERS get virtual popsicles! :)

s'lates!

. one-hundred and eighty-two! UP UP AND AWAY!

2009-12-31T18:02:00.003-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEARS LOVERS!!

Have TO MUCH FUN!

I am still a little sick right now, but I am gonna beat this shit, maybe drink some vodka and forget about it. Haha.

Hope everyone has fun:

wether you're getting smashed, sleeping in, watching everyone have a good time on tv while you drink Nog and eat ketchup chips... have fun. Love Your time here on earth, cause no one will be able to do it just like you can!

I'm going to try and love more

Drink more water

Treat myself better

Treat others better

& be the best I can be...

Everyone should do the same, if they aren't on these tips already.

For my hair:

Moisture, MORE MOISTURE.

that is all.

.. Oh, and stop forgetting to sleep without the satin scarf, I'm such a bitch to my hair at times eh?

LOVE YOU!

LATER! Happy BIRTHDAY WORLD! You DID IT AGAIN!!

;)

. one-hundred and eighty-one!

2009-12-30T22:13:00.001-05:00

ALRIGHT..

sure..?

WEDNESDAY DEC 30, 2009

You’re a force of nature today Leo, as a lunar eclipse illuminates your hidden powers. Follow the guidance of your inner voice, even if it defies logic to a certain degree. It’s time to tap into a deeper dimension of your persona than you ever have before. Tonight marks a symbolic passage of your identity. As 2009 closes, you leave an outmoded way of being behind, and step forward into a new, more fitting identity. Marriage proposals and other binding agreements may be in the offing tonight. The true adventure begins when you commit yourself fully to something…or someone.

........................................

LEO
July 23 - August 22

For the week of December 28 - January 03

This week, a shimmering lunar eclipse helps you find the balance between the real and the imagined. You’re able to harmonize both energies with the power of practical magic. Those daily routines don’t have to feel like a grind anymore. Some creative shifts to your time management, fitness routines, and systems of organization await. Put exercise and efficiency on the top of your list of resolutions. Then, make friends with your inner Martha Stewart (a Leo too) and start decoupaging, drilling and decorating away. Some activities may be “eclipsed out” of your life as the year comes to a close, especially ones that involve you volunteering too much of your time. There are only 24 hours in a day, Leo, and while it’s noble to answer the call of civic duty (as well as the calls of friends in the throes of personal dramas), having the appropriate balance of activities in your schedule is essential as you step into the new year. Prioritize your personal goals. It’s possible to make a living while doing something amazingly helpful for the world. There’s a ceremonious vibe in the air for you on New Year’s Eve. Consider dropping by (or hosting) a guided meditation, yoga class, or prayer circle to clear your mind. You’ll want to ring in 2010 with a group of spiritually uplifting friends. Before you hit the party circuit, gather together and set your intentions for the year ahead by candlelight.

check yours out! @ elle.com/

. one-hundred and eighty!!

2009-12-29T01:46:00.002-05:00

It is 1:46am

TUESDAY

I haven't started ANY of my piles of holiday homework.

I am the master of procrastination. it is not something I am particularly proud of- however, it is the truth.

HERE ARE MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS:

(I may make a youtube vid of it... but in case I dont...here goes)

1. FORGIVE. Life is too short for grudges.

2. DON'T BOTTLE THINGS UP. Let it out, and let it go.

3. BE MORE DRIVEN. Get off my ass and DO my shit!

4. BE HAPPY. Happiness is always good.

5. DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN. It's okay to not be like someone else. TAKE PRIDE IN THAT, and keep it movin'

6. KEEP IT MOVIN' . Don't linger on to things, in a state of sadness or melancholy. Get the raft and boogie on to the next challenge because Life isn't just going to STOP and wait for you to get MY shit together. Life doesn't give two shits about MY shit, when it has a lot more shit to offer me. YOU NEED TO REALIZE THAT ALL GOOD COMES FROM ANYTHING IN LIFE... Whether its right away or years later. The experience will cary you on into possibly destroying the next challenge you face.

To be continued?

. one-hundred and seventy-nine

2009-12-24T12:49:00.003-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS MY SWEETS!

Just incase I don't get the time to blog tomorrow at any time at all I want to wish everyone a GREAT HAPPY BEAUTIFUL BOUNTIFUL FABULOUSO FUN AND LOVE FILLED CHRISTMAS!

If there is anyone you can't stand.

anyone you hate to see.

anyone thats done you a bit of wrong.

anyone who always scrutinizes and critiques you

anyone who treats you lesser than a human being......

REMEMBER:

Its Christmas, and keep the holiday spirit alive, because many people tend to forget the meaning behind christmas.. not so much the presents or the food or the money or -

-UGH

my mood was just killed by my grandmother...

fuck man

I WA SO HAPPY JUST NOW na d she just KILLED IT COMPLETELY.

FUCK.

I dont even remember what the fuck I was saying. She did this yesterday too...

I rarely wake up in a good mood. I've woken up in a good mood for two days in a row and she has thoroughly DESTROYED it each time..

Well, at least she's consistent.

But come the FUCK ON!! seriously? Like I dont want to be an angry person... I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. Like just because she is sad every christmas, doesnt mean she has to ruin my christmas!!!

(she says shes sad every christmas)

GEEZ.

-sigh-

well sorry guys, I wish I could give you a lovely heart-warming christmas post...

but that got ruined by my hell raiser of a grandmother.

. one-hundred and seventy-eight

2009-12-21T12:41:00.002-05:00

I LOVE THIS GUY!!

His youtube: www.youtube.com/ilikejoaquin

His blog: http://sfstateofmind.wordpress.com/

He's sooo great, inspiring and i just love him!!

I am copying and pasting something he's blogged about a while ago that I found SO great, and related to me SO MUCH I couldnt help it.

WATCH HIS VIDS

READ HIS ISHH

Its great... honestly, I can't find other words right now, Im still sort of sick....so words are limited.

----

iljb#77: Getting back to BASICS

December 18, 2009

I guess I had to go through the most fucked up month, endure the most hurtful weeks, and take in the days that came to fully regain a sense of myself – who I was before all this was. Remembering the strength I had before he came a long, before fixed friendships, before family drama, before school hit. Remembering the strength I had is something euphoric right now and I’m trying to basque in its memory.

Remember your worth – I kept reminding myself this all through the summer and all through the beginning of school. Since I’ve forgotten that along the way, I now remember why its important. If he don’t like you, can’t handle “this” thing you’re putting out, can’t hang – then shit wasn’t worth the time in the end. Take it for what it is and move on – remembering your worth before 2009 ends is muy importante.

Courage and strength – Remember that you have a voice and that voice is powerful. No matter what may come your way, stand your ground. If you don’t like it – say something. If you’re sad, pissed, depressed, happy, whatever – DO IT and be proud doing it. Not many people will realize this until later on – but you know it now…remember your courage and strength. YOU ARE SUPERMAN!

Forgive – Whatever happened in the past happened for a reason – move on now because life is to short to be wasting on unhappy thoughts. Remember to attain your goal, you must be happy. But you can’t be happy unless you let go of all those negative nancies. Forgiveness is hard, but truth be told, one who forgives is the happiest of all.

Happiness in me – When it comes down to it, you can only rely on yourself and no one else. You can make yourself sad – but you have the power to make yourself happy. DO JUST THAT – be happy and actually BE happy. Things could be worse. Its in you – you just have to find it again.

The basics…I’m realizing that maybe I was ready to settle down…but I guess it was a good thing that I didn’t. I have so many dreams and goals…that I guess if he ain’t there to witness them then shit…I guess it wasn’t worth it. I’ll be okay…I’m okay. Even though its been only 2 days since I’ve talked to him – its been hard…

Mornings aren’t the same…neither are night times…afternoons are dull…eh…but it goes to show I was dependent on him…I gave it my best 100% and I have no shame.

Lets get back…get it all back…

. one-hundred and seventy-seven (SICK)

2009-12-19T13:23:00.004-05:00

I AM FRICKEN SICK

TIRED

SICK

....................................

I CANT TALK

SO IM ON MSN messenger all day because i dont feel like talking. IT ONLY MAKES ME WANT TO DIE!!

I have to cancel my date for this evening which was re-scheduled for tonight cause last weekend i was simply too busy with homework to even GO OUT at all.

I am secretly hoping I will miraculously be cured by 6pm in order to enjoy my little date at the waffle house with islandJ (which is what we shall refer him as, for the anonymous -ness of this blog..

right?

sure....

So yeah, If i feel better by 5 pm I will go... but if I dont... I may have to end up cancelling on the dude. UGH sorry islandJ, but I won't enjoy the damn waffles if all im thinking abut is how gross my throat feels....

HAPPY HOLIDAYS though, because it is that time again.. Im on break for the mutha flippin holidays. I tarted this blog JANUARY 3rd? JANUARY 4th? some shit like that, and its almost going to be A FUCKIN YEAR since I started... or was it december? WHEN THE FUCK DID I start this shit???

-goes to 'edit posts' to look back at first post-

Alright so it was DEC. 29th 08

so, I was definately OFF on the anniversary date but oh well, I only started REALLY posting in january.

LINK HERE:http://shariebelleemancipation.blogspot.com/2008/12/mood-crazy-inspired.html

Hello..
short introduction to why i have started this blog.

IN THIS BLOG YOU WILL SEE A LOT OF:
Me talking about my transistional journey from relaxed hair to natural hair
My Big Chop.
My Thoughts
My Challenges (not only with hair but with gr. 11 and student life )
And more exciting things...

My name is Sharifa,(I use ShariEbelle because its my name mixed with an african name 'Ebelle' which means mercy/kindness, just in case you were wondering, you probably weren't though)) I am sixteen turning seventeen in about 8 to 7 months (depending on how you count months and stuff...i start from the current month), and i am from Canada. So I'm guessing this is where i introduce myself and tell you about myself in brief detail(or elaborated detail for some...).

So here I go.

It all started about a month ago or so, when i went to the hair dresser and she relaxed my hair for me once again, because i was due...probably a couple weeks overdue. Well, she put it in and after, oh i don't know five minutes, it started really bothering me and burning...so I told her it was burning and she told me to just wait another fifteen minutes for it to settle in.
Now..im not the kind of person that likes to be demanding and bothersome, but that day it really was irritating me and i actually felt as if i would start to cry. Yes...cry. So then when she washed it out it was still burning! Yes.. STILL BURNING! So I go home and its still stinging like a -beep-. So i decide to ignore it cause, i am not too good with pain, so I thought this was just me being a baby.

Long story short....
It stung for a week.

After a week i couldn't stand it anymore and had to be emancipated.
When i say emancipated, i mean not just from the irritating stinging in my head, but the whole relaxing thing in general. But i did NOT want to just start with a BIG CHOP and go on from there...
So i searched for other ways to transition without shaving my head...

long story short i looked at some videos on youtube got inspired and explored some more and found NAPPTURALITY.COM, and assumed this site could be very helpful. And its proving me very correct so far, and inspiring me more to read about peoples results and journeys and tips.

i was already starting from last month, but then went back and permed my hair cause my grandma got ticked, but that time i let my friend do it for me...and she only sort of "touched it up"

that was at the beginning of the month, so now im starting again.

Though i can't help thinking....
i feel too young to be making such a decision...
but i really think i rather be natural that "relaxed"

cause "relaxed isn't really RELAXING at all...
its gosh darn stressful.

sorry this may have been long...but, Hello again and looking forward to the experience.
It should be very...interesting.

-ShariEbelle.

COPY AND PASTE WORKS WONDERS....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soooo yeah!

Im all over the place right now, cause I am sick and to lazy to and sick to organize my thoughts. I think I OD'd on medication and remedies today....

my brain is going slow too, like literally.

So instead of writing anything else, that may be percieved as ODD, like the fact that I've sorta been staking island1's new 'friend's' facebook like a little stalker to the point where i want to deactivate my facebook because I am getting a little CRAAAAAAZZAAAAAYYY!!!!!!

Wow, I'm fried.

WAY TOO MUCH MEDICATION/REMEDIES for this illness right now. I need to nap. I've been up since 7AM and its 1:37

Im watching Will and Grace.

FUCK. Im so sick

I dont want to cancel My date but I have to...

And what ever happend to me taking you back to JANUARY?

---LETS GO! -pdiddy voice (cause hes always saying 'lets go!' on twitter!) -

this is the post i did on the toilet

http://shariebelleemancipation.blogspot.com/2009/01/missing-my-camerastill-hating.html

* Mood: ~~crazy~~ boored
* Listening to: Walking On A Dream by Empire Of The Sun
* Reading: True Believer
* Eating: N/A
* Drinking: kool aid jammers

__________________________ __________________________________
ON MY MIND @ zee MOMENT (Dont mind the white people...only one of then are my friend.the one with darker hair..lol)
____________________________________________________________

The photo above is me on New Years Day ... early early in the morning, maybe at 1 something in the morning?
Yeah.
Never drinking again peoples.

I feel way better now though, i actually didn't have to puke forcefully, it didn't even end up happening. What i did was drink some sulfur bitters, as a way to clean out my system. I cannot believe it actually worked.
So i dug deep into my files and found some photos that i have here, that was ent to me from my friends, cause a long long time ago my beautiful Canon got stolen...i cried...it was horrible.

I thought i would put them up.. The photo above was a faux-hawk though, in case i didn't already say that.. i tend to repeat myself sometimes.
I need to stop that..it bores people.
when i find all of them i'll ad them to one folder so that its easy to upload..i like the easy routes.

Anyways:
its pretty easy to do, the faux hawk i mean. But in case people were wondering here is a step by step thingy:
THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO DO THIS...THIS IS NUMBER ONE

1) Wash Hair- This way when you do your bantu braids or chiny bumps its sort of easier to manage.
2) Part hair into workable sections
3) I take this time to oil my scalp with Triple Grow dry scalp treatment (its really god, and it actually works! no word of a lie!)
4) Start the chiny bimps. I like to make the center ones more smaller and defined than the others
5) I like to oil my scalp again between the bumps.
6) Wrap it up and go to bed.
7) Wake up and brush your teeth and put on your clothes first, cause i don't like when i try to pull a shirt over my head gently but still end up screwing up my hair...
8) Take out the bumps and the curls shall appear
9) Comb and brush up the sides however high you like.
10) Set the clips and pins to keep the hair in palce, you may need ALOT.
11) Spray it with sheen and hairpray.
DONE! =]

THIS ONE IS THE SECOND WAY TO GO ABOUT THE FAUX-HAWK...

1) Wash your hair.- so that its clean
2) Dry it and Oil your scalp.
4) Apply LEAVE IN CONDITIONER...
5) Brush/Comb through with a blow-dryer- this wait it gets straight-ish (not this is for transistioners...cause i am not completely natural yet..i should have mentioned that earlier eh?)
6) Relax for a minute
7) Start the bumpin' just like #4 in Part One.
8) Oil in between the bumps
9) WRAP IT UP and go to bed.
10) Wake up and blah blah..
11) Now if you used really nice slickin' conditioner when you take out your bumps they should sort of hang lose and freely and look really nice and smooth. Retro to da max, like the oldest sister from the cosby show. lol.
12) Sheen it....and hairspray is optional. I don't hairspray this one too much, cause i like when it looks nice and soft, not hard like a stone.

Bloobs.
S'laterz!

- Sharz
=]

. one-hundred and seventy-six (thoughts)

2009-12-18T22:48:00.003-05:00

Sitting here, I know that the expressions I show can change the perception of everything.

I know that if I smile many will assume I am happy, just like if I cry, many will assume I am sad.

And it's weird how you can judge someone from across the room, without even really knowing them, but judging them just because you can.

Cause you can do whatever you want if you put your mind to it?

It's just sad how you can put your mind into judging someone easier than putting your mind to doing something more useful.

Like...

"Fuck whatchya heard, Im the best dancer out here!" Greastest at that, but do you really know anything?

Like...

that prick, the immature son of a real stinkin' raggedy ole' bitch, who is constantly doing different things to piss you off every now and then, however, won't put their mind to work on their slipping grades.

And like that girl who keeps trying to find the best foundation for her troublesome skin, but is behind on her schoolwork...

I don't know if it takes a strong person to overcome these distractions, or if it's the strong people who are being distracted...

I dont even know what I am saying...

All I do know is:

Im coming down with a cold, my throat is sore, im tired, thirsty, and craving waffles.

-SHARIFA C.H

. one-hundred and seventy-five (def-jam of the day)

2009-12-18T21:05:00.000-05:00